Tag Archives: rings


Kid: “How come you never wear your big diamond ring anymore?”
Me: “My engagement ring? I do. Just not all the time. I take it off when I go to the gym and sometimes forget to put it back on before I leave for the day.”
Kid: “Is your husband mad that you don’t wear it?”
Me: “No.”
Kid: “But now no one knows you have a husband! It’s like you’re not even married.”
Me: “Well, that’s not true. But regardless, I always wear my wedding band.”
Kid: “Huh?”
Me (point to wedding ring on left hand) “This. This is the ring my husband gave me at our wedding.”
Kid: “But that’s so small!!”
Me: “It’s not that sm—“
Kid: “No one will be able to see that it’s so small!”
Me: “Ok I mean I disagree but–”


Dream Analysis

I’ve always been one to have pretty vivid dreams, and my therapist tells me that when this happens, in order to interpret them I should focus on the FEELING I had in the dream. The actual characters, context, and events of the dream are usually not relevant and shouldn’t be over-analyzed. It’s the emotion during the dream that you should focus on, as it’s likely an emotion you are trying to suppress in your waking life.

I’ve shared this wisdom with Eric, so we now make it a habit to discuss these vivid dreams when I have them (Side-note: We do NOT to make it a habit to discuss Eric’s dreams, as Eric is quite possibly the WORST summarizer of dreams on the planet. He is an exceptional storyteller in general, but when it comes to his dreams, he suddenly has the verbal capabilities of Forrest Gump. It will take him 15 minutes to explain a dream that could not have possibly lasted longer than 7 seconds. The benefit of discussing/interpreting his dream does not outweigh the amount of life minutes lost waiting for him to get to the point, so I generally refuse to participate and just tiptoe slowly out the room as he’s talking, which, 50% of the time, he does not even notice.)

This morning’s discussion…

Me: “I had a dream that you proposed. But the ring was a HUGE purple quartz rock. Literally a rock, in its rock form. And the ring part was flexible plastic, like the kind of ring you win at an arcade, that can fit on any sized finger. It literally looked like this, sitting upon a yellow plastic ring:


And my sister was in the background yelling ‘I helped pick it out!’ which was just baffling to me, especially considering how nice her ring is, and how impossibly picky she is about jewelry. And you were just sitting there with a shit-eating grin on your face, so proud of your choice, particularly the flexible plastic base, because, as you put it, ‘This way it will always fit, even if you get fatter!'”

Eric: “And how did that make you FEEL?”

(Pause as I contemplate the baseline emotion of the dream)

Me: “It made me feel like you’re a fucking idiot.”

Eric: “Sounds about right. Analysis complete!”