I wear this shirt to school all the time, so the kids are well aware that I know “The Vintage Twin” owners (who are, in fact, twins).
Kid: “But what does vintage mean?”
Me: “It means old. But valuable.”
Kid: “So the twins are old people?”
Me (laughing): “They’re 24!”
Kid (wide eyed): “Yikes– that IS old!”
And then I cried into my emoji sweatshirt.
I just tripped while holding my lunch, and my gut instinct, as I fell, was to take a blow to my knee and elbow in order to protect my chips.
I’m going to be a great mom.
To be clear, my mom (“C”) is in Arizona. My sister Stephanie is in NYC. No one is even remotely near a Korean restaurant in Newport News, Virginia.
While most reviews have been positive, I have read an overwhelming amount of critical commentary regarding Graham Moore’s Oscar acceptance speech, most saying that while it’s wonderful that he survived a suicide attempt and is now thriving, the Oscars stage was not the right time or place to talk about it.
Why? Because the whole world was listening?
Kudos to you, Graham Moore. There’s never a wrong time or place to fight stigma, celebrate strength, and instill hope.
I promise to stay weird. For you, for me, and for all the others out there who have seen the dark side.
Watch the speech here, in case you missed it.
(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
Tutoring Ebola Mom’s kid…
Kid: “We went to Vermont over break.”
Me: “Oh, how lovely!”
Kid: “Yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t bring you back anything.”
Me: “Don’t be silly, you don’t need to get me anything!”
Kid: “Yeah that’s what my mom said.”
Me: “Oh did she?”
Kid: “Yeah. Because, like…you’re not my REAL teacher.”
Me: “Ah. Ok…”
Kid: “And she pays you enough as it is.”
(Continuation of I Wonder If This Is What EVERYONE Thinks)
I politely responded to the fan mail from this guy, thanking him for his faith in my attractiveness based on a headless photo. His reply:
I play up a lot of things for the blog. I did not think “desperate ugly girl” was one of them.
We asked the kids to choose a song and interpret its meaning.
“This song is about friendship.”– boy, age 9
When your neighbor politely asks how you’re doing, don’t respond by telling him you’re having post-vacation anxiety and that you suspect you might have pink eye.
Your neighbor is not your therapist. Or your friend. Or, based on his reaction just now, someone who even remotely cares about you.
Try “Fine, thanks.” The old fine-thanks never landed anyone on the “do not talk to” list.
Although come to think of it, that’s a list I’d love to be on today. Maybe I’ll tell the kids I have pink eye.
Oh wait. Kids love things that are gross.
I can’t win.
When people keep telling you that they want to see more of your twins, they’re talking about your children.
You’re 45. Put those away now.
