Student (looking around): “I have a problem. I don’t know where to find books.”
We are sitting in a library.
Category Archives: Kids/Teaching
Holiday Hypocrisy: A Teacher’s Dilemma
Me (correcting a kid’s work): “20 divided by 2 is 40? So you’re telling me that if I split these 20 cubes into 2 equal groups, I’d have 40 in each group? Does that make sense? Is it logical?”
Kid: “No.”
Me: “Exactly. So it can’t be true. Remember, you ALWAYS have to ask yourself does this make sense? Is it logical?”
(moments later)
Kid: “Santa is real, right?”
Me: “Of course…”
Field Trips!
Parent chaperone (to me, once we returned back to school after our field trip): “I always feel like teachers need a good, stiff drink after a field trip day.”
Me (laughing): “Aw, nah, we love field trips! It’s great to see the kids so excited!”
I am 3 drinks deep.
Yeah I guess context was important there.
Today my class went on a field trip. Eric texted to see how it was going.
Ebola Mom, Part 46
This Isn’t a Snowstorm, de Blasio. It’s a Death Threat.
Today potential terrorist threats were made to both the LA and NYC public school systems. L.A. chose to close schools. NYC stayed open.
“We’ve come to the conclusion that we must continue to keep our school system open. (It is) very important not to overreact to situations like this” said Mayor Bill de Blasio the guy who happened to be right in this 50/50 coin toss.
Glad my students and I could be the guinea pigs.
And where were YOU today, de Blasio? What’s that? Nowhere near a public school building?
Yeah. I figured.
I’m moving to L.A.
Relevant
Me (after a thorough explanation of exactly what “author’s purpose” means): “So a good way to think about the author’s purpose is to remember the acronym PIE– persuade, inform, or entertain. Today you will read your own books and try to decide what the author’s purpose is. Is it to persuade? Inform? Or entertain? Maybe a little of all three. Record your thoughts in the table, with evidence from the text.”
Kids: <blank stares>
Me: “I’m going to take your silence to mean you understand. Now, are there any relevant questions?”
Kid who has never once asked a relevant question raises hand.
Me: “A RELEVANT question.”
Hand still raised.
Me: “What is your question?”
Kid: “I’ve never tasted pie before.”
Let’s Keep Doin’ What We’re Doin’, Gun Lovers!
What better way to honor the anniversary of the Sandy Hook tragedy than by continuing to do absolutely nothing.
http://www.theonion.com/article/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this-36131
Next Time I’ll Give Him a Newspaper
That moment when your 4th grade student takes a ridiculously long time in the bathroom because, as the male teacher who went to check on him reported, he had to entirely take off both his shoes and his socks in order to get comfortable.
Good for you, kid.
I think he missed my point
Me (holding up homework sheet): “Hey, kiddo. Do you happen to have wild animals living with you in your apartment?”
Kid: “No. My cat Muffin hardly bothers me at all!”
Me: “Oh. Well I just assumed there must be wild animals around, because why else would your sheet look like this?”
Kid: “I don’t know. It definitely wasn’t Muffin. He’s a good cat.”
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