Tag Archives: being single

Well Now I’m CERTAINLY Not Worried

Dating/Single Life, Kids/Teaching, , ,

Kid: “Are you worried about being so old and not being married?”
Me: “Oh, um. No. First of all, I don’t think I’m ‘so old.'”
Kid: “32 is pretty old.”
Me: “I disagree.”
Kid: “It’s like THREE TIMES my age!”
Me: “I regret teaching you multiplication.”
Kid: “So are you worried?”
Me: “No. I’m not worried. I’m fine with my age and I’m fine with not being married.”
Kid: “Oh ok good. I’ll tell my mom not to worry then.”
Me: “She’s worried? About me?”
Kid: “Yeah. She said when SHE was your age, I was already born!”

Right. And you’re a gem.

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A Golden Opportunity

Dating/Single Life, Family, , , , , , ,

This blizzard seems like the perfect opportunity to join Tinder, as it is a known fact that anything you do during a blizzard cannot be held against you in a court of public opinion about the state of your life*.

*public opinion includes family**
**family includes you, Mom***
***Someone please explain Tinder to my mom****
****You know what? Maybe don’t.*****
*****Mom– Tinder is a place where nice, rich, Jewish men go to find intelligent, head-strong, confident women who absolutely don’t NEED a man but regardless would be fine settling down with a guy who likes wine and Tina Fey and buying diamonds and going to the Breakers in Palm Beach every winter.******
******I know, it’s a weirdly specific site.

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