Watching a super bowl pre-game show, the hosts mention Michael Strahan.
Me: “Wait…Michael Strahan?”
Eric (nervous): “Yeah…”
Me: “He used to play football?”
Eric: <disbelieving silence>
Me: “Like, before he was Kelly Ripa’s sidekick?”
Eric: <rubbing temples>
I’m going to say less things for the rest of the day.
Manicurist: “THIS color? You sure?”
Me: “Yes.”
Manicurist: “No one choose this color. I never open.”
Me: “Yeah, I’ll bet. But the Broncos are in the super bowl and my boyfriend is a HUGE fan. So I’m supporting him.”
Woman sitting next to me: “That’s so funny, I was going to do the same thing!”
Me: “Really?”
Woman: “Yeah. But then I saw the color and was like ‘Nope. Can’t do it. Too ugly. Wayyyy too ugly.'”
She’s not wrong.
(Said with giddy excitement and glee): “Wait wait shhhh!!! This is the best part coming up, where you actually wake yourself up!”
— Eric, playing back a 3-minute long recording he took of my snoring the other night
(Part of the What is Love series)
Love is when he wakes up in the morning, wraps you in his arms, nuzzles his face in your neck and whispers “I wanted to strangle you in your sleep last night. You need to start using Breathe Right strips.”
I can only assume that Eric gathered up all his Broncos gear today because he wants me to burn it all in one shot before we live together, so that there’s more room for us to buy things that we can BOTH appreciate, like lacy throw pillows, jeweled trinkets from Anthroplogie, and designer handbags.
Ok, fine. I’ll do it.
Because I love you.
Eric and I decided to move in together. He told his mom, and her response was the following:
“That’s great! Do you need help with anything? If you want to store anything at my apartment, please feel free! Let me know what I can do! Congratulations! Very exciting!”
My mother’s response:
😒
Eric: “Oh god….what IS that?”
Me: “The reason I had to make you fall in love with me before winter.”
I slathered half a jar of vaseline on my face.
Yeah. I lit a candle.
“I’m getting on that piece of wood with you.”
— Eric, making it very clear what he will do should we find ourselves in the same situation as Rose and Jack after the Titanic sank.
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