Tag Archives: kids

Maybe I Don’t Completely Understand

Kids, , , , , , ,

Mom (whispering before kid enters room): “So…[kid] didn’t get to do the homework you left him last week because he was so upset about the election results, he could barely do anything for days.”
Me: “Oh my gosh that’s terrible and so sad! It’s honestly so painful and disturbing to me that a kid his age would be so affected by this. The whole thing is just so awful. Obviously don’t worry about the homework, I completely understand.”
Mom: “Thank you, I knew you would.”

(Mom leaves, kid enters)

Me: “So like I just told your mom, don’t worry about the homework. I completely understand that you were upset about the election.”
Kid: “What election?”

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No. No you are not.

Kids/Teaching, Random Thoughts/Happenings, , , , ,

Kid: “Who are you voting for?”
Me: “I’m not sure I can say. But I can tell you that I am voting for the candidate who, in my opinion, is the most qualified person, is a decent human being, and will promote kindness and unity in this country rather than hatefully dividing us.”
Kid: “So…Hillary Clinton.”

<silence>

Kid: “I’m not an idiot.”

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Right Now, Please

Kids/Teaching, , , , , , ,

The exasperating thing about tutoring young children for a living is that I now have an extensive collection of games and toys for teaching, and they all come with lots of parts and gadgets, so I constantly find myself having to say, “Ok, it’s time to refocus, please stop fiddling with the toys now. Right now, please.”

And then Eric puts down the toy and I can finally place it in my work bag.

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Standard 1st Grade Reading Lesson

Being Awkward/Dumb Stuff I Do, Kids/Teaching, , , , , , ,

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Me: “Do you know the name of the bird in the picture?”
Kid: “No.”
Me: “Ok, let’s try chunking the word to make it easier to sound out. You’ll see that when you break up the word, it isn’t so big and scary. It’s all smaller words you can figure out and then blend together.” (covering up end of word) “Try saying this first part alone.”
Kid (concentrating very hard): “C-O-CK…C-ooooock…C-OCK!! COCK! COCK!!!”
Me: “That’s right! Cock!”

And that’s when her dad walked in.

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My Philosophy, Part 2

Kids/Teaching, , , , , , ,

Quick update on this lady, who, as you will recall, inquired about a reading tutor for her 1-year-old…

We have a phone appointment this afternoon to discuss what it is, exactly, she means by “reading.” If it is a sane notion (aka “I’d like my baby to be read to, and perhaps exposed to the alphabet song”), then I might just consider taking the job. No one needs to tell her that these are tasks she– or an iPhone app– can handle for free.

She also mentioned in our email exchange that she is pregnant, so I expect to be asked about options for in-utero tutoring.

Stay tuned.

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Not a Bad Word

Kids, Kids/Teaching, , , , , , , ,

Kid: “My parents are not voting for Trump. They think he’s a dick…”
Me: “Woah woah woah! Ok, I can’t let you use language like that with me, even if your parents let you.”
Kid (shrugging): “Ok. It’s really not a big deal. It’s not even a bad word.”
Me (having a sudden realization): “Ohhhh, I cut you off. You were going to say dictator!”
Kid: <laughs, returns to his math worksheet>

(20 seconds later)

Kid: “No. I was just saying ‘dick.'”

Oh.

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