I would like to thank administration for once again giving our pre pubescent 4th graders the 1st period P.E. block.
Looks like the deodorant talk will come early this year.
And, for some- the shower talk.
#mastersdegree
Tag Archives: kids
Ebola Mom, Part 41
We’re Bonding
Me: “You went to Israel this summer?! No way!! Me too!!”
Kid: <walks away>
Oh. Ok.
Research
Just now, at dismissal…
Parent (to me and my co-teacher): “Just so you know, I did some thorough research on the two of you. I needed to know exactly who is taking care of my kid all day.” (pauses for dramatic effect) “I heard all VERY good things.”
Oh ok. So you’re very bad at research.
Only one!
So far only one crier and one kid who eats her hair.
First day success!
Do As I Say, Not As I Do
One of our school mottos is “Be yourself– everyone else is already taken.”
So on the first day with the kids tomorrow, my also jewish, white, 30-something co-teacher and I are going to wear matching dresses, necklaces, and hairstyles.
Because leading by example is overrated and hard.
But wearing matching outfits is adorable and fun!
I Got This
“This teaching thing is easier than I remember!” I thought to myself just now as I left my first day back at work.
Then I remembered the kids weren’t there today.
Tomorrow might be harder.
Don’t challenge me
Eric thought he’d challenge me to a “Who is going to have a more stressful day at work tomorrow” contest, the night before school starts.
Me: “I’m sorry, but you could work triple the hours I work and my day tomorrow would still be infinitely more stressful than yours.”
Eric: “I have to hit my target for the quarter or I get fired!”
Me: “I have to not hit a kid all year or I get fired!”
I won.
You Don’t Exist
No, former student. Stop waving at me from across the street. I still have exactly 15 hours to not care about you.
Final Week
“Stop agonizing, you still have ONE FULL WEEK of vacation left!”, I said to myself this morning after a night full of back-to-school dreams. And I felt much better.
Then someone who is not a teacher said the same exact thing to me.
So I punched him in the fucking face.
Don’t tell me how to feel, asshole.
#FinalWeek #DeathRow
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