Nor is she dramatic.
Tag Archives: mom
Communication is Not Our Family’s Strength
Dad (looking at blackberry): “Oh! Today is Jeremy’s birthday.”
Mom: “Poor kid…it’s his 30th birthday and he’s all the way out there in California. I hope he has someone to celebrate with.”
Me: “He’s in Mexico with like 10 friends.”
Mom: “What?!”
For the record, I only knew this from Facebook.
What Just Happened
That moment when you have dinner with your parents and, because you owe them your life and they have supported you emotionally and financially through thick and thin, you offer to pay, as it is literally the LEAST you can do. And that subsequent moment when, for the first time ever, they actually allow you to do it.
WTF!?!
Classic Mom and Dad
My parents are coming to NYC this weekend to watch my baby nephew while my sister and brother-in-law are in Philly for a wedding. Steph asked if I have any friends who babysit so that Mom and Dad can go to dinner Saturday night (in true Mom and Dad fashion, they have failed to realize that they ARE the babysitters).
Me: “I don’t have any friends who babysit, but if they want to go to dinner, I’ll watch the baby for a few hours.”
Steph: “Um…I’m sure they want to go to dinner with YOU.”
Me: “Oh. Shit. I didn’t even think of that.”
Steph: <no expression whatsoever, but definitely wondering what’s wrong with me>
Cue Jewish guilt. OF COURSE they want to go to dinner with me. What kind of daughter am I?!? The WORST. That’s what kind.
Mom calls a few hours later. I try to sound casual, like I figured all along we’d have plans…
Me: “Hi! So…we’re going to dinner Saturday night?”
Mom: “What? No. Dad and I are going out with our friends.”
Someone Needs to Explain to My Mother How New York City Works
My mom, on the phone, after learning that I have the flu…
Mom: “Do you have any food in your apartment?”
Me: “A little. I have some soup.”
Mom: “Ok. Well, are there places there that will deliver?”
Meet My Jewish Parents
Emails From My Brothers #10: Please Don’t Elaborate on Said Canoodle
The following sibling email exchange took place in 2006. Steph and I were living in an apartment together in NYC– she was in law school, I was in graduate school. Jeremy was a senior at Penn. Zack was a freshman at Wisconsin. The whole chain was started as an attempt to improve communication skills in our family. It failed.
But what did happen is that Steph contributed one solid, ridiculous email that made the rest of us genuinely laugh out loud.
To this day, it has never happened again.
I already posted that email (here), most of which she forced me to redact. So it’s not included below. The rest of the emails in the chain are, including Steph’s only other contribution (at the very end), which is much more in line with her character.
The emails themselves are not all that hilarious, but as a chain they create a pretty clear picture of the family dynamic, with some classic throw-back references.
**Note: any blurred-out content has been done so to protect the innocent– most importantly those who made the regretful decision to canoodle with Jeremy.
Things That Happen When My Mom Uses The Internet
To be clear, my mom (“C”) is in Arizona. My sister Stephanie is in NYC. No one is even remotely near a Korean restaurant in Newport News, Virginia.
Emails From My Brothers #8: Creepy Monkey’s Couch Pal
In direct response to Emails From My Brothers #1, and part of the Emails From My Brothers series.
Going home to Maryland always brings new, exciting discoveries.

















