Tag Archives: teacher problems

This is a NO WHINING ZONE

April 26, 2015Kids/Teaching, Random Thoughts/Happeningskids, parenting, parents, teacher problems, teachers, teaching, ues, ues parents, upper east sideEmily

Waiting for my drink at Starbucks, a woman and her young, exasperated-and-annoyed looking child stand next to me. And immediately, all I hear is whining. “It smells in here, my drink doesn’t taste good, I need more napkins, it’s too cold in here, what is TAKING so long?” And I’m just staring at the mom with my head in my hands.

So finally, thank GOD, she gets fed up, turns around, and yells “Oh my gosh, stop whining! This is a NO WHINING ZONE. It is NOT allowed.”

And she did. The mom stopped.

So thank you, kid. You must have a fantastic Kindergarten teacher.

The Final Straw

April 24, 2015Kids/Teaching4th grade, confidence, elementary school, kids, math, state testing, teacher problems, teachers, teaching, testingEmily

Me: “Make sure you are answering THE QUESTION BEING ASKED.”
Kid (extremely confident): “Oh, I did. I double checked. TRIPLE checked!”

The test question provided two fractions, one for the amount of purple marbles in a bag of 24, one for the amount of red marbles in a bag of 24. It then asked, “Are there more purple marbles or more red marbles in the bag?”

Kid’s answer: 1/4

And with that, testing season comes to a close.

Miss Emily, out.

Not Possible

April 24, 2015Kids/Teachingkids, math, state tests, students, teacher problems, teachers, teaching, testsEmily

Student: “Miss Emily, look! When I add 214 and 90, I get that the answer is still 214. But that’s not possible!”

Me: “You’re right. Not possible. So what do you think that means?”

Student (with a knowing smile): “There’s a typo on the test!”

And then I quit my job and never came back.

Perfect.

April 23, 2015Kids/Teachingkids, state tests, teacher problems, teachingEmily

Me: “Hey, kiddo! How’d the test go?!”

Kid: “Yes.”

Beating the Odds

April 23, 2015Kids/Teachingkids, odds, state test, statistics, teacher problems, teachingEmily

That jaw-dropping moment when that student who NEVER listens in class takes his multiple choice state test and miraculously beats the odds!

In that he got 3 right. Out of 25.

That’s pretty much statistically impossible, guys!

That’s Exactly What This Situation Needs. A Pigeon.

April 23, 2015Kids/Teaching, Mental Healthkids, NYC, nyc wildlife, pigeons, state test, teacher problems, teachingEmily

That moment when you bang on the window with a pair of scissors during a state test to scare away the extremely distracting pigeon squawking outside, and the kids look at you like you’ve lost your fucking mind.

Because you have.

But goddamnit, if these kids are going to fail, they’re going to fail because of the test makers and absurd politics. Don’t take that away from me, pigeon.

When Kids Have a Secret

April 23, 2015Kids/Teaching, Mental Healthalcoholism, depression, drinking, kids, mental health, psychiatrist, psychiatry, secrets, suicide, teacher problems, teaching, wineEmily

Kid: “Do they put bars on the windows at school so no one will jump out of them?”
Me: “Well, I think it’s more to prevent accidents, but yes, it would also prevent someone from jumping.”
Kid: “Yeah that’s like some of my mom’s patients [her mom is a psychiatrist]. But I can’t talk about that. I’m not allowed to.”
Me: “I totally understand.”
Kid: “Yeah. Like, I definitely can’t talk about the man who tried to jump out his window.”
Me: “Ok, then don’t.”
Kid: “He didn’t actually do it, though.”
Me: “Well I’m very glad to hear that.”
Kid: “Yeah.” (pause) “Or like the woman who drinks too much. I’m definitely not supposed to talk about her.”
Me: “Got it. Then let’s not talk about it.”
Kid: “Ok. Yeah, I can’t. It’s a secret.”
Me: “Understood.”
(long pause)
Kid: “She drinks wine in the morning.”