Tag Archives: ues parents

This is a NO WHINING ZONE

Kids/Teaching, Random Thoughts/Happenings, , , , , , , ,

Waiting for my drink at Starbucks, a woman and her young, exasperated-and-annoyed looking child stand next to me. And immediately, all I hear is whining. “It smells in here, my drink doesn’t taste good, I need more napkins, it’s too cold in here, what is TAKING so long?” And I’m just staring at the mom with my head in my hands.

So finally, thank GOD, she gets fed up, turns around, and yells “Oh my gosh, stop whining! This is a NO WHINING ZONE. It is NOT allowed.”

And she did. The mom stopped.

So thank you, kid. You must have a fantastic Kindergarten teacher.

no-whining

Your Mom is a Selfish Windbag

Kids/Teaching, , , , , , , , ,
Us (to kid who looks blatantly ill): “Do you feel ok?” 
Kid: “No. I have the flu.”
Us: “Then why are you here?!?”
Kid: “My mom said if I have too many absences I won’t get into middle school.”

A few things:

1. If you don’t get into middle school, it will be because you gave us the flu, and so we permanently branded you the dirty, germy kid. This will be the first line of your middle school recommendation letter. We might even add in that you smell. Not because it’s true, but because we hate your mom. 

2. Tomorrow, we will send a big ball of phlegm to your mother’s office, which will sit on her desk all day, slowly oozing around her workspace and contaminating everything and everyone. Tit for tat, lady. 


3. Leave this room. Now. (He did. And went to the nurse. Who took his temperature. Which was over 100 degrees.)

4. We know it’s not YOUR fault. We do like you a little less, though. I’m sorry. It’s just what happens.

5. Feel better, kiddo! 


Ebola Mom, Part 14

Kids/Teaching, , , , , ,

(Part of the Ebola Mom series)

Tutoring Ebola Mom’s kid…

Kid: “We went to Vermont over break.”
Me: “Oh, how lovely!”
Kid: “Yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t bring you back anything.”
Me: “Don’t be silly, you don’t need to get me anything!”
Kid: “Yeah that’s what my mom said.”
Me: “Oh did she?”
Kid: “Yeah. Because, like…you’re not my REAL teacher.”
Me: “Ah. Ok…”
Kid: “And she pays you enough as it is.”