I was just saying how grateful I am not to have the kind of job where I actually have to brush my hair in the morning, and then someone pointed out that I do. I do have that kind of job.
Oh.
Well this is brand new information.
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A Genuine Thank You
I don’t know if you guys realize it, but when you all keep telling me that I’m the funniest person you know, it seriously puts a huge smile on my face and totally makes my day.
So thank you, Mom and pre-recorded daily affirmation tapes (that I recorded).
It means a lot.
Thoughts as I Walk Out of Therapy
Sometimes I genuinely feel that my life stories are so entertaining and interesting that my therapist should be paying me $300 a session to listen to them.
This is probably why I need a therapist.
Strict
Just ran into a student from last year…
Me: “Hey kiddo! How’s 5th grade?!”
Kid: “Good. But my teacher is VERY strict.”
Me: “Well, yeah, but you’re used to that– I was strict too!”
And then she literally laughed in my face. Hard.
And I let her.
Ok yeah I see what she’s saying.
Leading by example
9– The number of days it took my co teacher and I to figure out who the random hot dad was who showed up to curriculum night.
Investigation strategies included:
- checking each child’s photo decor on their writer’s notebooks
- staring down every mom at dismissal and deducing if she was hot enough to land hot dad
- causally saying to every child during pack-up, “So…tell me more about your dad,” then ignoring everything the kid said that had nothing to do with physical appearance
- Consulting last year’s teachers
Finally we solved the mystery.
And that, kids, is how you do research.
Kid: “My mom and I saw you running in Central Park on Saturday!”
Me: “Oh yeah!? How’d I look?”
Kid: “REALLY tired.”
Me: “Hahah yeah– I was!”
Fuck you.
I must meet this person immediately.
Big changes happened in MY life, too
Just now in our faculty meeting, the emergency contact sheet (where we write our full name and the name/number of one person to contact in case of emergency) was passed around because it hasn’t been updated in a while. We were asked to look over the information we had provided years ago and update it accordingly.
By the time the sheet got to me, dozens of people had crossed out their former last names and written their new married names. I felt pretty proud that when I looked at my information, I could cross out and replace the last name, too.
Of my emergency contact.
Because she got married.
So, you know. That’s exciting.
Validation
For the first time ever, someone at work walked up to me, gave me a genuine pat on the back and said with 100% sincerity, “You did great work today. I’m proud of you.”
Alright fine, he’s 9. But still.
Alright fine, he said the same exact thing to someone else 5 seconds later. But still.
Alright fine, that “someone else” was a booger he just pulled out of his nose.
But…still?
I miss last year’s weirdos.
He’s lucky I’M not his mom
Kid (to other kid): “It was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me and my mom took a photo but thank god she did NOT put it on Facebook.”
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