I clicked yes because there’s something very comforting about knowing exactly how you’re going to die.
All posts by Emily
I never want to hear anything cool ever again
Kid: “Wanna hear something REALLY REALLY cool?”
Me: “Yes!”
Kid: “Neil Armstrong smuggled mint lifesavers into his spacecraft.”
Highlights of My Day
That moment when you figure out that two of your students have told you a very serious, very elaborate lie. And they think they’ve gotten away with it, so they’ve been secretly smiling at each other all day. And you’re literally counting the MILLIseconds until you get to bust them.
I need a life.
I Consider This a Win
I just had dinner with an Israeli
Can you tell?
No. What’s a blog?
Tutoring…
Kid: “Do you know what a blog is?”
Me: “Hmmm…No. What’s a blog?”
Kid: “It’s like an internet page where you write things and put pictures and stuff. My teacher has one.”
Me: “Really?”
Kid: “Yeah, it’s a blog for our classroom. It talks about all the cool things we do in school, tells the parents what we’re learning, and she write notes about how proud she is of us.”
Right. Just like my blog.
Yeah That Makes It Better
At sibling dinner, explaining a situation (from a while ago) when he ended things with a girl he was seeing.
Jeremy: “Well, we weren’t really in a RELATIONSHIP, so it’s not like I went over there to break up with her. I just went to say goodbye.” (long pause) “Forever.”
A Fun Fact to Ponder on This Dark, Dreary, Rainy Monday
Hitler was born today.
Same Thing
My therapist keeps reinforcing that it’s important for me to meditate, because it will give my brain a chance to completely turn off and literally be at its absolute stillest.
But like…that’s why I watch the Kardashians.
Things I Wish I Had Known Sooner
At sibling dinner, debating what is/is not “slutty” behavior as a single adult.
Me: “Well you know what they say, you have to sleep with a lot of frogs…”
Zack: “I’m pretty sure it’s ‘you have to kiss a lot of frogs.'”
Oh.
Well this changes everything.
Emily's Posts 