Friend: “So if you’re dating a guy and things are going well, at what point do you tell him about the blog?”
Um, obviously in the first or second month.
After our first grandchild is born.
At that point he’ll be pretty locked in.
Dear All Men Everywhere,
It is really REALLY super creepy when the main profile photo on your dating app is a picture of yourself as a young boy. Do you think we like this? I’m so confused. This is the only photo we see in that first instant when we decide if we’re swiping right or left– are you TRYING to attract a woman who looks at a picture of a 5 year old boy and says “Ooooh, tell me MORE!”?
If that IS who you’re looking for, maybe try looking somewhere else.
Like jail.
That’s where pedophiles are. In jail.
Now stop being a creepster. The world has enough problems.
Emily
“Maybe don’t.”– friend, when I said my upcoming second-date strategy will be to just put it all out there and be myself.
Sassy: “You have date this week?”
Me: “Yes, on Tuesday.”
Sassy: “Then you get eyebrow wax today.”
Me: “No thank you.”
Sassy: <shrugs>
(long silent pause as she files my nails)
Sassy: “No wax is big mistake.”