Tag Archives: dating

A Golden Opportunity

Dating/Single Life, Family, , , , , , ,

This blizzard seems like the perfect opportunity to join Tinder, as it is a known fact that anything you do during a blizzard cannot be held against you in a court of public opinion about the state of your life*.

*public opinion includes family**
**family includes you, Mom***
***Someone please explain Tinder to my mom****
****You know what? Maybe don’t.*****
*****Mom– Tinder is a place where nice, rich, Jewish men go to find intelligent, head-strong, confident women who absolutely don’t NEED a man but regardless would be fine settling down with a guy who likes wine and Tina Fey and buying diamonds and going to the Breakers in Palm Beach every winter.******
******I know, it’s a weirdly specific site.

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My Mom Has the Utmost Confidence in Me

Dating/Single Life, Family, , , ,

My mom is in town for the week, and last night the whole family got together for dinner:

Mom: “What are your plans tomorrow?”
Me: “I have a date. A first date.”
Brother-in-law: “Where are you going?”
Me: “I forgot the name. It’s a place I’ve never been to before.”
Brother-in-law: “You should try this place The Jeffrey. They have really good drinks. I think it’s expensive though, so maybe save it for a 3rd date.”
Mom: “Yeah, if she makes it that far.”

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