“Hey! <poking me repeatedly in the shoulder> Heyyyyyyy. HEY! I’m bored.”
— Eric, 4 minutes after officially moving into my (our?) studio apartment.
This is gonna be great.
Tag Archives: love
Move-In Day!
Eric: “You realize I’m pretty much fully moving in tomorrow, right?”
99% of me: “I know, I’m so excited!”
1% of me:
I Got You Something
Eric (excitedly): “Oh! At work we’re getting a bunch of TMZ-brand accessories for the iPhone. I’m going to get you one of the metro card holders so you can try it.”
Me (monotone): “Cool. A TMZ logo on my phone. Exactly what I’ve always wanted.”
(silence)
Eric (excitedly): “Oh! I also got you something else!”
(silence)
Eric: “A new attitude.”
Eric: “So maybe you can try that too.”
During Couples Olympics, Trivia Round:
Question: “Who says ‘I love you’ more, you or Eric?”
Me: “Eric!”
Eric: “True. But that’s only because 3/4 of the time I say it, she’s asleep.”
Fact.
“Never get married. Your taxes will go through the roof.” –Eric’s accountant, to Eric.
So then I shot Eric’s accountant.
Valentine’s Day is Silly
Eric: (handing me a bouquet of roses): “Happy Valentine’s Day!”
Me: “Aw, thank you. This is so unnecessary! You know I don’t care at ALL about Valentine’s Day, I told you that. It’s such a dumb holiday.”
Eric: “K, then give me $20.”
Me (out loud): (laughs)
Me (internally): He only paid $20 for these?! On VALENTINES DAY?!
Before Coffee
Eric accuses me of being less than pleasant in the morning before coffee. This is valid. However, this morning is a perfect example of what I deal with every day.
Eric (after using my blow dryer to warm himself post-shower, setting it down on the top of the toilet, and it crashing to the floor, knocking down my makeup bag): “Hey, you know what?”
Me (frantically getting dressed and trying not to be late, after having squeezed in a 5-mile pre-work training run): “What?”
Eric: “Besides monkeys, humans are the only animals that have butts.”
Me: (no response. For obvious reasons.)
Eric: “Like…think about it.”
Me: (looking at clock, realizing I’m down to the wire)
Eric: “Four legged animals just have their legs, and then a buttHOLE. But no BUTT.”
Me: “Uh huh…”
Eric: “And like–”
Me: “K bye! Love you!” (Leave)
So in context, I think we can all agree I’m doing what I need to do to survive.
I Can’t Wait to Live With Him
(Said with giddy excitement and glee): “Wait wait shhhh!!! This is the best part coming up, where you actually wake yourself up!”
— Eric, playing back a 3-minute long recording he took of my snoring the other night
What is Love?
(Part of the What is Love series)
Love is when he wakes up in the morning, wraps you in his arms, nuzzles his face in your neck and whispers “I wanted to strangle you in your sleep last night. You need to start using Breathe Right strips.”
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