Tag Archives: kids

Same Thing

October 2, 2015Uncategorizedfield trip, kids, native american, teachingEmily

“Does anyone know any Native Americans? They can come speak to the class!”

– my coteacher’s solution to the fact that there are no good field trip options for our Native American/Colonial Explorers unit.

That Kind of Job

September 30, 2015Kids/Teachingbeauty, fashion, Hair, hair care, kids, teachingEmily

I was just saying how grateful I am not to have the kind of job where I actually have to brush my hair in the morning, and then someone pointed out that I do. I do have that kind of job.

Oh.

Well this is brand new information.

September 28, 2015Kids/Teachingcentral park, fitness, health, honesty, jogging, kids, marathon, marathon training, running, teachingEmily

Kid: “My mom and I saw you running in Central Park on Saturday!”

Me: “Oh yeah!? How’d I look?”

Kid: “REALLY tired.”

Me: “Hahah yeah– I was!”

Fuck you.

Validation

September 28, 2015Kids/Teaching, Teachingkids, teacher problems, teachingEmily

For the first time ever, someone at work walked up to me, gave me a genuine pat on the back and said with 100% sincerity, “You did great work today. I’m proud of you.”

Alright fine, he’s 9. But still.

Alright fine, he said the same exact thing to someone else 5 seconds later. But still.

Alright fine, that “someone else” was a booger he just pulled out of his nose.

But…still?

I miss last year’s weirdos.

He’s lucky I’M not his mom

September 28, 2015Kids/Teachingfacebook, kids, teachingEmily

Kid (to other kid): “It was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me and my mom took a photo but thank god she did NOT put it on Facebook.”

Are We Racist?

September 26, 2015Kids/Teachingbooks, kids, racism, school, teacher problems, teachingEmily

On Friday, our 4th grade class had “book buddies” with a 1st grade class (it’s exactly how it sounds– 1st and 4th graders are paired up, and they read books together). It was our first book buddy session, so we, the teachers, had to assign the partnerships for the year.

The 1st grade teacher immediately told us that one of her students spoke Spanish and almost no English, and we agreed that it’d be great to partner him with a Spanish-speaking 4th grader, to make him feel more comfortable. So we did.

Then we thought “Oh, WE have a Japanese-speaking 4th grader– do you have any 1st graders who speak Japanese?” And she did, so we paired them together and then watched delightedly as they conversed in both English and Japanese.

“How lovely! We’re great!” we thought.

But then, as we looked around the room and saw Asians paired with Asians, Hispanics paired with Hispanics, and Pacific Islanders/Other paired with other Pacific Islanders/Other….we thought, “Oh, fuck– are we racist?”

Nah. Our intentions were good.

I’ll admit we were toeing the line when we yelled “Hey, you two Jews! Go find a book about money and read together.”

Teacher Discretion

September 25, 2015Kids/Teachingcursing, kids, teaching, testsEmily

Technically the kid had too many errors to qualify for this reading level, but then he pronounced “damp rag” as “damn rag,” and since he’s 9 years old and very otherwise well-mannered, it was pretty fucking hilarious.

So I passed him.

I think that’s fair.