Sternly asking “How would YOU feel if you had to bleed from your PENIS once a month?!?” does not win you points with the guy who just had ACL surgery.
Or, I’m now realizing, any guy.
At any time.
Nothing was more rewarding, adorable, awkward, or terrifying than 28 fourth graders working together to write this poem about love. For the record, a boy chose the topic “love” and a boy chose the metaphor “butterflies.”
So what happens to the male brain between ages 10 and the age they create their first dating profile that completely erases these sentiments?
I’m just saying.
Notice no one chose the metaphor ” balloon knot.”
Me: “What’s a good way to get more blog followers?”
Guy: “Post a nude photo.”
Me: “Ok, like something I would actually do.”
Guy: “Waist-up nude photo.”
Me: “ACTUALLY. DO.”
Guy: “Photo between waist and neck. Nude.”
Me: “So…my boobs.”
Me: “Ok, so again…ACTUALLY DO.”
Guy: “You won’t even do THAT?”
Me: “No! Besides, these boobs aren’t going to get any followers.”
Guy: “Yeah. Maybe someone else’s boobs. SAY they’re yours, though.”
We had students choose someone special and write that person a love cinquain poem. Two boys got right down to work….
Kid 1: “So who are you writing your valentine poem for?”
Kid 2: “Sarah.”
Kid 1: “Who’s Sarah?”
Kid 2: “Well, there are actually two Sarahs. One is my cousin, another is this girl I know from camp. Not sure yet which one I’m giving it to.”
Kid 1 (gravely serious): “Dude– you should definitely give it to your cousin. Giving a love poem to someone who’s not in your family would be REALLY weird.”
And so it begins. Two young boys who understand nothing about love, soon to be grown men who understand nothing about love.