I imagine that when I’m pregnant one day, I will spend 1 month preparing for birth and 8 months preparing the drink I will finally get to have afterwards.
The baby thing will be learn-as-you-go, but it seems important to get that drink right.
Tag Archives: motherhood
Aunthood
One day, my sister and brother-in-law are going to mistake my real ignorance for this sarcastic ignorance, and they’re going to give the ok and I’m going to go right on ahead and get their kid stoned.
Balls
“A ball! A ball! A ball!”
— My 1 year old nephew, while grabbing my stomach.
And when his hand moved to my boob, he stopped saying it.
Nope, that’s just food.
“You’re not pregnant too, are you?”
— Parent, to me, after hearing that almost everyone on my grade team is pregnant.
Because, as everyone knows, pregnancy is contagious.
And a completely appropriate subject to broach with someone you don’t know well at all.
She Did It!
(Continuation of My Mother, Trying to Group Text )
Just in time for Mother’s Day…
Entirely unnecessary, but ok…
My Vow
When I have kids one day, I am never going to yell at them, punish them, set rules/curfews, or prevent them from doing the things they want to do because I’m going to be the cool parent who understands that children are people too, and they should be allowed to do as they please and make their own decisions.
Said my 12 year old self.
What a fucking idiot.
My Friend Totally Sells Motherhood
Yeah. Sounds great.
😳
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