If anyone has an extra sense of humor, I know 28 nine-year-olds who could use one.
#toughroom
Tag Archives: teachers
Do As I Say, Not As I Do
One of our school mottos is “Be yourself– everyone else is already taken.”
So on the first day with the kids tomorrow, my also jewish, white, 30-something co-teacher and I are going to wear matching dresses, necklaces, and hairstyles.
Because leading by example is overrated and hard.
But wearing matching outfits is adorable and fun!
Final Week
“Stop agonizing, you still have ONE FULL WEEK of vacation left!”, I said to myself this morning after a night full of back-to-school dreams. And I felt much better.
Then someone who is not a teacher said the same exact thing to me.
So I punched him in the fucking face.
Don’t tell me how to feel, asshole.
#FinalWeek #DeathRow
LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UGGGGGHHHHHHH
Me: “Why does the last month of school drag on foreverrrrrrrrrrrrr?!?!?!?”
And then, at some point between my trips to Israel, Michigan, and the Outer Banks this summer, someone punches me in the face.
Because I deserve it.
Well That Was Unexpected
That moment when you’re watching your class rehearse for their upcoming dance performance, and a group of five 4th grade boys end their solo portion with a huge pelvic thrust.
I’m so uncomfortable.
Slash proud.
Mostly uncomfortable, though.
Every Child Left Behind (in a pool of tears and anxiety-induced vomit)
Teachers, people with children, or anyone who knows or cares about teachers or children, this John Oliver rant on standardized testing is a MUST WATCH.
Every bit of it is hilarious because it’s so painfully and pathetically true.
Two of my personal fave highlights:
1. “Pearson are the educational equivalent to Time Warner Cable– either you’ve never had an interaction with them and don’t care, or….they HAVE RUINED YOUR FUCKING LIFE.”
2. Did anyone else know that Pearson uses Craigslist to recruit test-graders? Yes, that’s right– “Pearson chooses test graders the same way that you’d look for a mattress full of bedbugs or a no-strings-attached hand job.” This is like when I found out that Sing at Camp Robindel was judged by the local balloon lady. (sorry to the 99% of readers who have NO idea what I’m referring to, but to the 1% who do, you know the EXACT disappointed feeling I’m talking about).
Ebola Mom, Part 30
(Continuation of Ebola Mom Part 29 and part of the Ebola Mom series)
And 30 minutes after posting about life’s tendency to be awkward and uncomfortable, this lady. Right on cue.
Oh, I’m sorry. Was I supposed to respond?
Guys– I’m a little worried she thinks we’re friends.
Not Every Idea Is a Good Idea
Kid: “I have a really good idea for when I’m older. It’s going to change the world.”
Me: “Great. I hope you acknowledge me, your supportive and inspiring 4th grade teacher, when you do it!”
Kid: “I definitely will.”
Me: “So am I allowed to know the idea? Just so I can prepare for fame.”
Kid: “Yeah. So you know how subway cars are always killing rats that live in the subway?”
Me (already regretting any involvement in this): “Yeah…”
Kid: “Well, I’m going to start a program that will protect the subway rats.”
Me: “May I ask why you feel the subway rats need protection?”
Kid: “Like, why should they have to die? They’re innocent! They can be protected and domesticated. Kept as pets, even! Everyone in NYC could have a pet rat! We could save them ALL!”
I take it back. Don’t you dare mention me.
In fact, we never met.
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