(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
As I enter my tutoring session, I recieve this text…
Ok, yeah. I tried REAL HARD not to let my explanation of math get in the way of their epically loud hammering and drilling.
What. Goes. ON?!?!
Tag Archives: teaching
Colonial Times
The kids are writing historical fiction stories as part of our Colonial America unit.
Kid: “I named my character John McFly!”
Me: “Hmmm. Do you think John McFly is a good name for a character who lived in Colonial America? Does that make sense for that time period?”
Kid: “Well…not COLONIAL America, but in 1984.”
(Long silence)
Kid: “So…right after.”
Teacher Snack
Hey teachers! Guess what? I just discovered that cheese makes the perfect after-school snack on a particularly rough day, just as long as you make sure it’s brie and that there’s an entire wheel of it and that you’re alone and that you eat it with your fist and that you salt it with your own tears.
DO you?!
Us: “There is NO talking during this test. Starting right now– absolutely NO TALKING.”
Kid: “Ok! Got it!”
1:17pm– the point during my work day at which I realized my shirt is on inside out.
Always
Answering multiple choice questions about a text.
Kid: “The answer is ‘A’!”
Us: “Why?”
Kid: “Because the answer is always ‘A!'”
Jesus Christ, kid. Have we taught you nothing?
The answer is always ‘C.’
Guests
“Oh, yeah, sorry. They live in my house.”
— Kid, as a cockroach crawled out of his backpack and onto the classroom rug.
Coyote
Viewing a coyote exhibit at the Natural History Museum…
Kid: “My cousin’s name is Coyote!”
Me: “Really? Just like the animal?”
Kid (laughing): “No! That’d be so silly!”
Me: “Hah yeah that would be pretty silly.”
Kid: “It’s coyote with a ‘K’.”
Serious Headache
I always thought I was really prone to serious headaches, as I seem to have them all the time, but it has just occurred to me that I might be confusing “serious headache” with “being awake.”
Tutoring is Shitty
My teacher friend texted saying she had a classic tutoring story for me. Please read below, and think about this tomorrow when you are sitting at your adult job at your adult desk in your adult office because THIS IS OUR LIFE.
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