We’ve reached that point in the school year where not only are we letting the kids arm wrestle during dismissal, we’re standing back and taking bets on who will win.
Tag Archives: teaching
Luckily the Nurse is No Alarmist
That moment when you send a sick kid (one of many) to the nurse, and an hour later the nurse calls to say that that kid was rushed to the hospital, and that “there is something very wrong happening in your classroom.”
She then uses her extensive medical training/expertise to conjure up the solution of giving everyone in the room a dab of hand sanitizer.
We’re all going to die.
The Bad/Good News
The bad news is that today the kids have gym first period, so they will smell like dead rats.
The good news is that it will mask the smell of what I’m pretty sure is an ACTUAL dead rat.
And the public school universe calibrates.
“No Air Conditioning in Place of Employment, Despite Subject’s Possession of Master’s Degree”
That’s what it will say as “cause of death” on my coroner’s report, which I imagine will be written and processed by day’s end.
Ebola Mom, Part 32
(Continuation of Ebola Mom Part 31 and part of the Ebola Mom series)
Alright, well. I officially don’t understand what is happening.
Things I Thought Were Self-Explanatory
Dear Parents,
If you volunteer to chaperone a school field trip, you must stay awake while on said trip.
Thanks.
Miss Emily
P.S. No, seriously. Wake up, ma’am.
This Should Go Well
“Do you know how to get there? Because I do not.”
— our field trip bus driver, aka the man responsible for knowing how to get there.
An Early Mother’s Day Tribute to My Fabulous Mom
There are a few kids in my class having a really hard time understanding fractions as parts of a whole. I remember fractions being such a simple concept for me to understand as a kid, so I’ve been wracking my brain, trying to figure out how I learned them so easily.
Then I remembered. It was from my mother threatening my siblings and me:
“You better do as I say by the time I count to 3, or SO HELP ME GOD. One! (blank stares), Two!…(no movement)….Two and a HALF (nothing)…Two and THREE QUARTERS (shit, that’s close to three wholes…should we do something? WHAT COMES AFTER THREE?!)”.
We never found out.
But I’m good at math now.
So thanks, Mom.
Ebola Mom, Part 30
(Continuation of Ebola Mom Part 29 and part of the Ebola Mom series)
And 30 minutes after posting about life’s tendency to be awkward and uncomfortable, this lady. Right on cue.
Oh, I’m sorry. Was I supposed to respond?
Guys– I’m a little worried she thinks we’re friends.
No Avoiding Those
Discussing fear as a topic for poetry.
Us: “What is something you fear?”
Kid: “Irresponsible adults.”
Well then, kid. You know what the map says:
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