Do NOT let Google predict what you need.
In other upsetting news, I’m a poop. 
Category Archives: Random Thoughts/Happenings
How to Prepare for a Birthday in Your Mid-30s
The events of tomorrow very much necessitate the events of today.
I’m fucking old.
Write Me Every Day
If Trump becomes president, I’m moving to 15 Yemen Road, Yemen.
Famed restaurateur Danny Meyer has started a whole new movement in the restaurant industry, where he is raising prices and, in turn, asking customers not to tip their servers.
“So just keep doing what you’re doing,” Meyer instructed Jews.
RIP Garry Shandling
Comedy, and the world, lost a great one today.
Everything about Garry’s turn on “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee,” from the title of the episode to the discussion of Robin Williams dying “so young in his 60s,” is painfully prophetic and poetic. A must-watch.
We’ll miss you, Garry.
(And for the record, Garry– I like “Go fuck yourself,” too. You’re my hero.)
Literally
Well there’s no more fitting way to say it–
Thank Christ it’s a 3-day weekend.
Yeah Something Like That
Kid: “I can’t believe you ran such a long race in that cold weather yesterday!”
Me: “Hah, I know! It was VERY cold and windy!”
Kid: “You must have been FREEZING!”
Me: “I sure was!”
Kid: “Yeah, but I bet you didn’t even care because you were so happy that you worked hard and reached your goal!”
Me: “Exactly!”
Eh. I was pretty fucking miserable.
Race Day
Wow! What a long, cold, rough race day! I gotta tell ya– my knee hurts, I lost a glove, I’m starving, and I’m totally exhausted. I need a nap.
–Eric
Fuller House
I was REALLY enjoying watching “Fuller House” until I read the reviews for “Fuller House,” which essentially claim that if you are enjoying watching “Fuller House,” it’s because you’re a fucking idiot whose life is sad.
Oh.
Ok, I get it. Not a fan.
Me (excitedly): “Oh! Wanna watch ‘Girls?'”
Eric (adamant): “No. Absolutely not.”
Me: “Oh, come on.”
Eric (more adamant): “NO.”
Me: “I don’t understand why you have such a problem with it. ”
Eric: “‘Girls’ is what they’re now showing at Guantanamo Bay. Instead of water boarding.”
Me: “Ok, ok.”
Eric: “Lena Dunham is terrible.”
Me: “I get it.”
Eric: “And Shoshana should be Sho-shot.”
Me: “Shoshana is the likable one! It’s Allison Williams’s character who’s the worst!”
Eric: “The one who had her asshole eaten out on camera? Yeah, I bet her dad is REAL proud. Look at him now. She gets her ass eaten out and the next thing you know he’s lying to America and getting fired. Look what ‘Girls’ did to HIM.”
Me: “Ok, we won’t watch it. Christ.”
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