“Oh!! It’s like a trans…PARENT.”
— Eric, 3 seasons into Transparent.
Category Archives: Relationships
Should I Be Concerned?
Or is this just preparation for marriage?
Then, 2 days later:
Like all Brides
The problem with my wedding dress hanging on a door in our compact apartment for the next few months is that given Eric’s newfound meat-dehydrating hobby, there is a 99% chance the dress, and therefore I, will smell like beef jerky on our wedding day.
“I would only love you more.” — Eric
Opening his mail…
Eric: “Huh? The AARP says I can be a member.”
Me: “But I thought you have to be 50.”
Eric: “They invited me!”
Me: “Do you think they got confused by your baldness?”
Eric: “No they heard who I was marrying and thought ‘He must be old.'”
Yeah I’m Not There Yet.
Re: wedding ideas…
Desperate Measures
Donald Trump inviting Barack Obama’s half-brother to the 3rd debate is like when I take all of Eric’s stray crap lying around the apartment and gather it in a huge pile in the corner of the bedroom– it’s ineffective, desperate, sad, and will go 100% unnoticed by the person you’re trying to provoke.
Sounds About Right
Seasonal transitions are hard on my body
“No, don’t kiss me there, I have zit cream on….or there, I just put vasaline on…no not there either, I just used icy hot.”
— Me, to Eric
Then I hid the ring so he couldn’t take it back.
Not that I don’t trust him…
That moment when you’re working at the home-office desk that your fiancé lovingly assembled for you, and you open the desk drawer only to find about 10 unused parts that you’re pretty sure should have been included in said assembly.
And so you slowly back away from the desk.
The First Sign
“Oh god. Winter is coming.”
— Eric, seeing the ring of vaseline around my mouth as I got into bed last night.
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