Tag Archives: cooking

Survival Skills

September 6, 2017Relationshipscooking, crime, love, marriage, relationshipsEmily

Watching “The Murder of Laci Peterson” on A&E…

Me: “See, the husband definitely killed her. You don’t refer to a loved one in the past tense if they’re just ‘missing.’ Like if I went missing for a month, you’d still talk about me as if I were alive– you’d have hope.”

Eric: “If you went missing for 24 hours I would KNOW you are dead.”

Me: “You’d assume after just ONE day that I’d been murdered!?”

Eric: “Oh, no one would murder you. You’d just be wandering around, unable to figure out what to do for dinner, and starve.”

img_1179-7

When Spellcheck Wins

July 31, 2017Familycooking, duck, family, food, siblingsEmily

Steph Cooked

Food Holder?

February 22, 2017Being Awkward/Dumb Stuff I Do, Random Thoughts/Happeningsbaking, chef, cooking, engagement, etiquette, gifts, kitchen, nyc living, weddingEmily

That moment when you know so little about cooking that you have to google image search the kitchen-related engagement gift someone sent you so that you call it the right thing in the thank you note.

img_7086-2

Like all Brides

November 2, 2016Random Thoughts/Happenings, Relationshipsbeef jerky, city living, cooking, diet, health, relationships, wedding, wedding dress, wedding planningEmily

The problem with my wedding dress hanging on a door in our compact apartment for the next few months is that given Eric’s newfound meat-dehydrating hobby, there is a 99% chance the dress, and therefore I, will smell like beef jerky on our wedding day.

“I would only love you more.” — Eric

img_1179-1

Honoring Rosh Hashana

October 3, 2016Random Thoughts/Happeningsbrisket, cooking, food, high holidays, jewish new year, jews, judaism, rosh hashanaEmily

Arriving at tutoring client’s apartment…

Parent: “L’shana tova! Did you celebrate Rosh Hashana last night?”
Me: “Why thank you! Yes, I did celebrate!”
Parent: “That’s great. Which temple did you go to?”

Oh. No, no.

I just meant that I ate brisket.

img_8546-4

The Chef’s Secret

August 29, 2016Familybanana bread, cooking, dessert, diet, family, food, recipeEmily

Last night we’re all sitting on the couch enjoying Zack’s world-famous banana bread.

Me: “This really is the best thing I’ve ever had. And I don’t even like banana bread.”

Zack: “Well, this is actually an existing recipe, I just put my own secret twist on it.”

Me: <shoving more forkfuls in my pie hole>

Zack: “I double the butter.”

Celebrating Independence with Dependence

July 4, 2016Random Thoughts/Happenings, Relationships4th of july, acai, breakfast, cooking, diet, food, fourth of july, independence day, paleo, paleo leap, paleo life, paleo restart, relationships, summer, vacationEmily

Eric surprised me with a 4th of July themed breakfast in bed (dairy-free acai bowl with grain-free granola, chia seeds, almonds and strawberries. #paleolife), while I slept for 13 hours straight and woke up feeling too lazy and unmotivated to pour myself a coffee. Thank you for this freedom, forefathers!

Me: “But…where’s the blue?”

Eric: “Blueberries were six bucks. You don’t get any. Eat your breakfast.”

Happy 4th, everyone!

I Don’t Know How to Do the Thing You’re Saying

May 4, 2016Relationships, Uncategorizedchef, cooking, diet, egg salad, fat, food, health, healthy eating, healthy relationships, lifestyle, nutrition, paleo, paleo restart, relationships, weight lossEmily

Partly inspired by a scale that told him he gained 9 pounds in the past week, and partly due to my constant complaints of feeling fat, Eric convinced me to try a “Paleo Restart” 30-day program with him.

Even though he discovered this morning that the scale was wrong (um, obviously. 9 pounds in one week? #science), and despite the fact that I didn’t actually want to DO anything about feeling fat, I just wanted him to respond “That’s crazy, you’re not fat! It’s fine to eat that 9th Hershey Nugget!” (um, obviously. #science) he’s still super into the program. Plus, we already paid the $35 for it. So fine.

I went to sleep last night totally on board to start this weekend, but then this morning had a horrifying realization.

Oh, yeah. Why didn’t I think of that?

PROBABLY BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE EGG SALAD, MUCH LESS MAKE THE FUCKING MAYO FOR EGG SALAD.

No.

I’m out.

Not Everything Needs Cheese

April 9, 2016Familycheese, cooking, diet, family, food, healthEmily

Due to Eric having diabetes and a general understanding of what humans should eat, he has had a very positive influence on my diet.

Andrew is ruining everything.

Emily's Posts

Like Emily Post, except the exact opposite…