We’re going to an out of town family wedding together this weekend and there’s been essentially zero coordination.
Tag Archives: communication
We Fucking Love Cobb Salads
The text below refers to the following voicemail (to listen, hit play on the black audio bar) I left for my brother Jeremy on his birthday. I think it is a pitch-perfect, stunning example of why I don’t– and never should– make voice calls.
Ok, so it must be ME
(related to The Computer Prompt, With Tea )
Me: “Since you’re standing next to it, can you please add ‘razor’ to my list of things to pack for this weekend?”
Eric: “Sure.”
I don’t understand.
Stay in the meeting, where it’s safe
Set my alarm for 7:30am this morning so I’d be up and awake for a bed delivery that Eric scheduled between 8am-12pm.
I Thought the Agonized Emoji Made it Pretty Clear, No?
For anyone who was wondering if he’d take this as a hint to please swing by and bring it to me, the answer is no. He did not.
Penn 1, BU 0
Me: “What’s going on? You look very pensive.”
Eric: “Penis?”
Me: “Pensive.”
Eric: “Penis.”
Me: “You don’t know what pensive means, do you?”
(long pause)
Eric: “Penis.”
Sometimes I’m Not Entirely Sure He’s Listening
Me: “Aw, my mom’s friend wrote me a really nice email. I donated to her son’s charity and she sent me such a lovely thank you note.”
Eric: “That’s nice. Look! <shows me his phone> Here’s a video about a collar you can put on a cat that translates it’s purr into a human voice.”
Maybe We CAN’T Finish Each Other’s Sentences
Eric: “So my mom has a really good jeweler…”
Me: “My ring size is 7!”
Eric: “…who can fix that necklace you broke.”
Me: “Oh.”
At Least Andrew Knows
As usual, Andrew (my brother-in-law) is the only one who knows where our parents are.
Insulting
I’ll admit, I’m terrible about talking on the phone. I just don’t like to do it. My friends, and my mother in particular, are always giving me a hard time about it, which is fair. I should call them more. I’m sorry!
But still, it’s always so insulting when I do speak to my mom on the phone and she makes a point to ask me if there are any major developments in my and Eric’s relationship that she should know about– clearly implying that if some kind of major event WERE to occur, she wouldn’t even know about it. Which is just insane.
She’d obviously see it on Facebook.
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