I wonder if the envelopes of these thank you cards I’m writing will still smell like wine when my recipients open them.
Tag Archives: wine
“Zack, is your shirt written in Chinese?”
— Andrew, 100% serious.
We had been drinking.
Fitness Hack
You’ll get more steps on your Fit Bit if you walk allllllllllllllllll the way to the back of the liquor store where the pre-chilled wines are kept.
A Prescription I Can Fill
Therapist: “I’m not necessarily saying you need to drink LESS wine, but you should probably at least be drinking BETTER wine.”
Me: “Can I get that in writing?”
Therapist: <laughs>
Me: “Like, on a prescription pad?”
Therapist: <laughs>
Me: “I’m serious.”
A Fun Little Experiment
My therapist suggested I try a “fun little experiment” where I cut out all alcohol on the week days and log how it affects my mood and exhaustion levels.
So now I find myself staring at the stocked bar in my kitchen on a Friday morning, wondering if holidays still count as week days. Or if ANY Fridays still count as weekdays. I mean it’s FRIDAY. That’s basically the weekend. Even if it’s morning.
And that’s when I realize that this is no “fun little experiment.”
It’s an intervention.
Things I Do When Eric’s Out of Town
Yeah. I lit a candle.
Fact
Water tastes better when you pour it into a wine glass and then replace it with wine.
Special Occasions
I originally bought this oversized wine glass for my Tami Taylor Halloween costume, but it turns out it’s great for special occasions, like Mondays, Daylight Savings, and 4:55pm.
Any Evidence Will Do
Desperately searching for internet evidence that wine and a bag of croutons dipped in ranch is a nutritious dinner, otherwise it’s minute 1 of my new diet and I’ve already blown it.
On an unrelated note I feel like complete dogshit today.
Under the table
You know how there are certain hard-core people who you just KNOW can drink you under the table, and when you’re with them, you know it’s in your best interest to not even TRY to keep up?
That’s exactly how I feel when I drink wine with my mom.
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