Our honeymoon to South Africa and The Seychelles is next week…
Eric: “We have to go on this Anse Trail hike when we’re in the Seychelles. It leads to Anse Major, which is this beautiful, remote beach. Once in a lifetime experience. Totally secluded.”
Me: “So there’s no toilet?”
(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
Zero time passed between these texts. For all she knows I am, in fact, on my honeymoon.
Also #4 is not hard.
Eric, filling out a questionnaire for the travel agent planning our honeymoon….
Here are some things I think to myself every single time I walk by this door, which is often, as it is adjacent to my room:
“Go fuck yourself.”
“One of you secretly hates/will end up murdering the other.”
“This is an amazing hotel for a singles vacation but totally stupid for a honeymoon, you stupid stupidheads.”
“You should both try the tap water. It’s delicious.”
“I bet your sex got boring the second you said ‘I do.’ I haven’t heard ONE scream come out of that room.”
“STOP BRAGGING, ASSHOLES!”
“Honeymoons are for losers.”
“Awww, I’m happy for them!”**
**this quote actually came from topless-at-the-pool-lady, as she walked by said door. SHE will probably get married some day.