“Here. I’m apposed to give you this. For your wedding.”
— Kid, age 4, wiping his runny nose and yogurt-covered mouth with his fingers, then using said fingers to hand me $100.
Tag Archives: teaching
How so?
“I mean…it’s a LITTLE nerdy.”
— Kid, age 6, re: my backpack
No Secrets in THAT House
“Oh my god, have so much fun [at your bachelorette party] tonight! At my bachelorette party I got so drunk, there were MULTIPLE strippers, and there are just these ridiculous photos of me hanging off of stripper poles and, like, penises EVERYWHERE.”
— Parent of former student, just now on the street, while holding her 5-year-old daughter’s hand.
It’s a Fair Question
“Well why didn’t she just take a Via or Uber?”
— kid, age 7, re: Rosa Parks
This is Why I Tutor
One of my clients lives in my building….
“I’m on YouTube, you know.”
— Kid, age 6
Luckily We’re in a Public Library and He’s Yelling
“What are Spanx!?”
— 2nd grade boy, when I opened up my laptop to do a reading program with him and a HUGE photo of my latest online shopping purchase popped up.
I Don’t Know What This Means
Tutoring an 8th grader….
Me: “So I have a little treat for you. My bridal shower was this weekend and I have all these leftover cookies– would you like one?”
Kid: “Oh my god, you’re getting married?!”
Me: “Yes! In June.”
Kid: “Aw yay! You’re getting married! I really couldn’t figure out WHAT your deal was.”
Something to Consider
“I think maybe a leotard, Moana’s necklace, and a Burger King crown on your head.”
— Kid, age 6, when I asked him what I should wear on my wedding day.
He’s the Best Agent
This is how Eric responds to people’s baby announcements.
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