“My taste buds only like Chardonnay”
— family friend. Age 5.
Tag Archives: wine
When Kids Have a Secret
Kid: “Do they put bars on the windows at school so no one will jump out of them?”
Me: “Well, I think it’s more to prevent accidents, but yes, it would also prevent someone from jumping.”
Kid: “Yeah that’s like some of my mom’s patients [her mom is a psychiatrist]. But I can’t talk about that. I’m not allowed to.”
Me: “I totally understand.”
Kid: “Yeah. Like, I definitely can’t talk about the man who tried to jump out his window.”
Me: “Ok, then don’t.”
Kid: “He didn’t actually do it, though.”
Me: “Well I’m very glad to hear that.”
Kid: “Yeah.” (pause) “Or like the woman who drinks too much. I’m definitely not supposed to talk about her.”
Me: “Got it. Then let’s not talk about it.”
Kid: “Ok. Yeah, I can’t. It’s a secret.”
Me: “Understood.”
(long pause)
Kid: “She drinks wine in the morning.”
Running
Today I wanted to run:
- The Central Park loop
Instead, I ran:
- Away from my problems
- Out of toilet paper
- Into an ex (this one)
- Toward the wine store
- Through a series of anxious thoughts
- Myself ragged
This all probably could have been avoided if I had just run the fucking loop.
Lesson learned.
Things I Tell Myself So I’ll Actually Board the Plane
It’s important to leave Florida and go back to NYC in the dead of winter because waking up every morning and thinking “Life is good!” is really no way to live. And honestly, my brain just gets tired from being so positive. It was truly exhausting being that happy for 5 days. I don’t know how people down here do it all the time.
Also, my Seasonal Affective Disorder makes me an interesting, dynamic person of substance. Winter misery and despair is part of who I am and I am proud.
*typed from the West Palm Beach Airport while clutching a duty-free wine and sobbing into a bag of Combos.
Lunch
I was only supposed to be in Florida through this morning, but because of a flight cancellation, my trip is now extended through tomorrow. My gracious hosts weren’t planning on having me here for today, and they had to go into work. They were VERY concerned about what I was going to do for lunch, which was sweet, but come on guys, I’m 32 years old, I’m pretty sure I know how to fix myself a meal.
To be clear, the apple is decorative.
This Connoisseur
I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do to help you, James.
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