Thank you, Department of Education, for making this year’s tests untimed, so that this student could take a full 3 hours to answer 24 multiple choice questions.
He got 1 correct.
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This is Entirely Healthy
Who told him?
The Results of State Testing
Tomorrow begins state testing. My 9-year-old students will come to school and sit for hours to take a test that is not remotely reflective of what they know, who they are, or what they are capable of achieving.
So in honor of these torturous, painful, anxiety-inducing tests that my young students have to suffer through and I have to watch them suffer through, I quit my job.
Hah, just kidding!
That’s not why I quit.
It makes me feel pretty good about my decision, though.
Ok yeah it’s a little bit why I quit.
You know you have a problem when you whip out your iPhone to show the waitress that it is 30 seconds until noon so you can, in fact, order this Bloody Mary.
Now hurry.
Walk Away From The Decorative, Old-Timey Scissors…
Damnit, Anthropologie! Stop tricking me into believing I’m a whimsical person.
Tar Mat
Eric’s flight (to Georgia, not Florida. Apparently.) was delayed yesterday.
It wasn’t. Eric has spent 32 years on earth thinking that airplanes sit on a mat of tar before takeoff.
When the Cat’s Away…
A Prescription I Can Fill
Therapist: “I’m not necessarily saying you need to drink LESS wine, but you should probably at least be drinking BETTER wine.”
Me: “Can I get that in writing?”
Therapist: <laughs>
Me: “Like, on a prescription pad?”
Therapist: <laughs>
Me: “I’m serious.”
My siblings are over my April Fools pranks
Luckily Andrew is still dumb.
30 minutes later…
I assume Jeremy is still asleep.
I Know What I Need to Know
Eric will be gone for 5 days at the Golf Masters. I don’t see why the details are important.
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