I started my pee medicine! Now I won’t have to run to the bathroom every 10 minutes like a coke addict!
Oh and also Eric and I are moving in together.
(I think he was waiting for the pee thing to be under control…)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I think about the most joyous moments of my life, from childhood to present, I realize that there is an underlying, common theme.
They were all naps.
Viewing a coyote exhibit at the Natural History Museum…
Kid: “My cousin’s name is Coyote!”
Me: “Really? Just like the animal?”
Kid (laughing): “No! That’d be so silly!”
Me: “Hah yeah that would be pretty silly.”
Kid: “It’s coyote with a ‘K’.”
Eric: “Oh god….what IS that?”
Me: “The reason I had to make you fall in love with me before winter.”
I slathered half a jar of vaseline on my face.
I always thought I was really prone to serious headaches, as I seem to have them all the time, but it has just occurred to me that I might be confusing “serious headache” with “being awake.”
If you are someone who is prone to anxiety, do yourself a favor and do NOT purchase scarlet red body wash. I promise that if you do, you will look down at the bottom of the shower while soaping yourself and be CERTAIN that you are bleeding from at least one organ. EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME.
It does wake me up, though.
A few months ago a girl moved into my building– young, a teacher, seemingly normal and cool. Someone I would actually hang out with. We spoke in the lobby for a bit, exchanged apartment numbers, and said we’d see each other soon. I haven’t run into her since– until just now, in the elevator.
Girl: “Hey! How have you been?!”
Me: “Not much!”
And then our friendship ended.
Yeah. I lit a candle.
“Absolutely nothing noteworthy.” —
Urologist, after thoroughly inspecting my lady parts.
Fuck you, man.
(Related to When Eric Makes the Bed )
Two can play this (very strange, wholly unproductive) game.
Now I’m late for work.
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