I didn’t appreciate the condescending implication that he has more control than I do, but I admired the health-conscious logic and embarked on my snack session with the same vigilance and restraint. I was actually impressed by the fact that no matter how hard I shook and manipulated the bag, only one combo at a time could escape into my palm, allowing for a controlled, responsible snack experience.
20 seconds in:
Then I just got mad.
Eric got me an Apple watch for my birthday.
It will likely be the last gift I ever get.
Half my day is spent connecting Eric with his friends.
Sugar Wags is a black lab.
Dudley is a doxen.
This is exhausting.
His birthday is on Thursday.
Two hours later….
When a man loves a sandwich:
Real Story: A guest at our wedding is a friend of Ben Platt’s parents. This guest told Ben’s parents that “You Will Be Found” was our first dance song, and Ben’s parents told Ben, who then very graciously offered to autograph a photo for us.
Story I tell myself: Oh, NBD but Ben Platt reads and loves the blog. Huge fan of mine. He knows I love Dear Evan Hansen and that “You Will Be Found” was our wedding song, so he contacted our photographer and arranged this whole surprise for us because, you know, that’s the kind of thing celebrities do for their fellow celebrity friends.
Story I tell others: One of the two above, depending on how well I know you and your ability to fact-check.
That moment when your husband catches you on your iPhone calendar calculating the best time to get pregnant so that you won’t miss the annual free, 2-week beach vacation with your mom and dad in August.
So yeah we gotta wait a couple months.
After a couples massage:
Eric (trying to sound casual): “So, uh…did your masseuse stick her finger in your belly button and roll it around in there for a while? Is that a normal massage thing?”
For my bridal shower a while back, a friend got me a gift certificate to Journelle, a high-end lingerie shop that sells incredibly sexy pieces. Think this:
Last night I realized I still hadn’t used the gift card, so needless to say Eric was excited to hop onto the website with me and peruse their merchandise.
I bought these: