(Continuation of Ebola Mom, Part 67 )
Ah, there it is.
The universe calibrates.
Ebola Mom, Part 67
(Part of the Ebola Mom series )
My favorite part of this is that she doesn’t know how to space the exclamation points because I’m pretty sure she’s never used one.
Birthday Morning Surprises
Best gift I could ask for– life with this guy….
Sorry, Kid
Ran into a former student and his mom on the street.
Mom: “How’s the tutoring business going?”
Me: “Great! But, you know (smiling at the kid)— I really miss the classroom!”
Mom: “Oh please. No you don’t.”
Me (laughing): “Really, I do!”
Mom: “You do NOT!”
Me: “I do!”
Mom (pointing at kid): “You don’t have to pretend for him. It’s fine.”
Me: “Ok yeah I really don’t.”
Guess I’m Not Set
Friend: “So how’s the wedding planning going– is everything pretty much set?”
Me: “Yeah, I think so!”
Friend: “That’s great! What are your colors?”
Me: “I’M SUPPOSED TO HAVE COLORS?!?!”
Ebola Mom Part 66
(Continuation of Ebola Mom Part 65 and part of the Ebola Mom series)
This follow-up can only be the result of a conversation with her husband.
Ebola Mom, Part 65
(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
No. I will be drunk.
And yes, thank you, I am quite excited for my shower, and you are so sweet to acknowledge that that will be a special event in my life!! I appreciate your understanding that you are in no way a priority for me on that day! 
I Can See Why He Got Confused
I Just Really Fucking Love John Mulaney
10 minutes later, after no response….
Not Who I Am
The parent of one of my students asked about my upcoming wedding.
Parent: “So are you and your fiance taking dance lessons for your first dance?”
Me: “Oh no no. No, no, no.”
Parent (laughing): “I should have known, you’re both already great dancers, huh?”
Me: “Oh my god, NO. I mean, he is. I’m not.”
Parent: “Oh. So why not take lessons? Then you’ll be completely rehearsed and confident that night, you’ll know exactly what you’re doing, and you won’t have to worry!”
Me: “Yeah. That’s just not who I am as a person.”
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