Standard yearly reminder text from non-Jewish friend regarding Jewish happenings.
I hope Hillary grabs him by the balls tonight.
Years ago, I had a 1st grader who hit another boy in the class. I told that 1st grader to apologize immediately. So he crossed his arms defiantly, looked down at the floor, and mumbled “I’m sorry.” Then, the second I turned my back, he kicked the boy again and spit in his face.
Still a more sincere apology than Trump’s.
Given the Circumstances…
I mean yeah. There was no other choice but to re-name the sibling text chain.
The Best Part
The best part about this whole this whole thing is watching every single news source and Republican trying to tip toe around the word “pussy.”
Sounds About Right
Dammit.
Chatting with parent before tutoring session…
Parent (referring to my switch from classroom teaching to full-time tutoring): “So you must love that you get to be your own boss now, right?”
Me: “Oh, absolutely. That’s one of the best things about my new career!”
(Later, alone with the kid)
Me: “You look a little distracted. Everything ok?”
Kid: “Yeah, I was just thinking– you said to Mom that you love being your own boss, but my mom pays you, so isn’t SHE your boss?”
Me: “Well, sort of, but technically…”
Kid: “And also, she could fire you, like how a boss does.”
Me: “Well yeah but…”
Kid: “And really, you work with a lot of kids, so each kid’s parent is your boss. So instead of having one boss you now have like a MILLION bosses.”
Me: “Ok, let’s get back to the math problem.”
Kid: “Why? Because I’m right?”
Me: “Yes.”
“You’re pretty funny for a girl.”
— Kid, age 9, to me.
Sip, Seal, Repeat
I wonder if the envelopes of these thank you cards I’m writing will still smell like wine when my recipients open them.
Honoring Rosh Hashana
Arriving at tutoring client’s apartment…
Parent: “L’shana tova! Did you celebrate Rosh Hashana last night?”
Me: “Why thank you! Yes, I did celebrate!”
Parent: “That’s great. Which temple did you go to?”
Oh. No, no.
I just meant that I ate brisket.
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