You know you have a problem when you whip out your iPhone to show the waitress that it is 30 seconds until noon so you can, in fact, order this Bloody Mary.
Now hurry.
Tag Archives: alcohol
A Prescription I Can Fill
Therapist: “I’m not necessarily saying you need to drink LESS wine, but you should probably at least be drinking BETTER wine.”
Me: “Can I get that in writing?”
Therapist: <laughs>
Me: “Like, on a prescription pad?”
Therapist: <laughs>
Me: “I’m serious.”
A Fun Little Experiment
My therapist suggested I try a “fun little experiment” where I cut out all alcohol on the week days and log how it affects my mood and exhaustion levels.
So now I find myself staring at the stocked bar in my kitchen on a Friday morning, wondering if holidays still count as week days. Or if ANY Fridays still count as weekdays. I mean it’s FRIDAY. That’s basically the weekend. Even if it’s morning.
And that’s when I realize that this is no “fun little experiment.”
It’s an intervention.
Self Esteem
Whenever someone gives me a compliment, I automatically assume they are drunk.
I know, this doesn’t say much about my self esteem. So I am working on it.
I’m trying to get to a place where, when people say something nice to me, I truly believe they are being genuine. That I am a good person, and people can recognize and point out my positive qualities without being under the influence of a ton of alcohol.
And the fact that they’re always throwing up right after– that’s just a coincidence.
This is Exactly How I Want to Be Proposed To One Day
The heart wants what it wants.**
**side of waffle fries not pictured.
Special Occasions
I originally bought this oversized wine glass for my Tami Taylor Halloween costume, but it turns out it’s great for special occasions, like Mondays, Daylight Savings, and 4:55pm.
That moment when your date shows up drunk. To your FIRST date.
It really is the rudest. And beyond immature. Overall just shows a total lack of respect and class.
I hope he didn’t mind.
(End of testing season. Teacher happy hour at 3pm. I’m sorry!!!)
Running
Today I wanted to run:
- The Central Park loop
Instead, I ran:
- Away from my problems
- Out of toilet paper
- Into an ex (this one)
- Toward the wine store
- Through a series of anxious thoughts
- Myself ragged
This all probably could have been avoided if I had just run the fucking loop.
Lesson learned.
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