Here’s part of a professional client email I sent this morning.
Kid is in 1st grade.
**Posted with permission from his mother, who reads the blog and thankfully still trusts me with her kid.
Tag Archives: kids
Even My Clients Know
A 1st grader I tutor lives in my building and has met Eric a couple times….
No Offense
Excerpt from an email I received from a former student:
My drafted response:
He’s Going to be the BEST Dad
Ebola Mom, Part 67
(Part of the Ebola Mom series )
My favorite part of this is that she doesn’t know how to space the exclamation points because I’m pretty sure she’s never used one.
Sorry, Kid
Ran into a former student and his mom on the street.
Mom: “How’s the tutoring business going?”
Me: “Great! But, you know (smiling at the kid)— I really miss the classroom!”
Mom: “Oh please. No you don’t.”
Me (laughing): “Really, I do!”
Mom: “You do NOT!”
Me: “I do!”
Mom (pointing at kid): “You don’t have to pretend for him. It’s fine.”
Me: “Ok yeah I really don’t.”
Ebola Mom, Part 65
(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
No. I will be drunk.
And yes, thank you, I am quite excited for my shower, and you are so sweet to acknowledge that that will be a special event in my life!! I appreciate your understanding that you are in no way a priority for me on that day! 
I Love Kids
“You’ve had that same pimple since our last session.”
— 1st grader
This Can’t Be Good For Education
That moment during a tutoring session when you ask the kid a math question, and Alexa answers for him.
No. Just NO.
I am sitting in a large window nook at Starbucks doing work. The nook is meant for sitting– there is another woman here too, working on her laptop. As we’re typing away, a man walks in with a screaming baby. That’s fine– babies scream. You know what’s NOT fine? When he lay the baby down 6 INCHES FROM MY LAP and changed his shit-filled diaper, right next to my Peach Tranquility tea and half-eaten Kind bar.
Then, AFTER he changed the diaper, he took the baby to the bathroom with him so he could wash his hands, leaving the shit-filled wipes sitting on the ledge, right between me and the other woman.
This begs two questions:
- If you ended up taking the baby into the bathroom with you anyway, and therefore clearly knew there was an available bathroom, why didn’t you just change the baby in there?
- WHAT. THE ACTUAL. FUCK?!
This is a public restaurant. WITH FOOD! People are eating and drinking. You are NOT allowed to whip out a mountain of poop in my face. At least not on purpose!
NYC lost 10 points today.
So did parenthood.
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