The result of our deodorant chat with our 4th graders is that they are now wearing cologne. A LOT of cologne.
Still no deodorant, though.
All posts by Emily
Voter Correlation
There should be a voter poll that asks the following three questions, in succession:
1. Are you voting for Trump?
2. Do you think white people are better than all other people?
3. Do you “kinda get” Hitler?
I’d like to see Trump quote THOSE numbers.
I’m sad for everything.
Goal Setting
This new FitBit really IS helping me accomplish all my fitness goals!
I’m pretty sure if you’re sleeping almost 10 hours every night, it shouldn’t congratulate you. It should ask if you’re ok and recommend a doctor.
This is Saturday Night
Eric (lying on the couch, with his bare foot in my face): “It’s weird how you can’t move your pinky toe. Like without moving the other toes.”
Followed by 15 minutes of him trying to do it.
Insulting
I’ll admit, I’m terrible about talking on the phone. I just don’t like to do it. My friends, and my mother in particular, are always giving me a hard time about it, which is fair. I should call them more. I’m sorry!
But still, it’s always so insulting when I do speak to my mom on the phone and she makes a point to ask me if there are any major developments in my and Eric’s relationship that she should know about– clearly implying that if some kind of major event WERE to occur, she wouldn’t even know about it. Which is just insane.
She’d obviously see it on Facebook.
Early Warning Signs
“Well, I’m glad Eric likes your couch. Remember that boyfriend you had who hated your couch? We should have known then and there that there was something seriously wrong with him.”
— My mother, who bought me my couch
(Yeah, it’s denim. And it’s fabulous. And my mother is 100% correct.)
Ebola Mom, Part 48
At Least No One is Wasting Their Time Here
At the conclusion of a whole discussion about preparing their daughter for the state tests in April…
Us: “Our time is just about up, but did you have any questions or comments?”
Parent: “No, everything is good, thank you.” (pauses to collect papers) “Oh! One thing. We are moving to China in 3 weeks.”
Can’t Wait to Catch That
At early dismissal, to a parent who looked like she had the flu:
Me: “You look like you’re really not feeling well. We can absolutely do your conference another time over the phone so that you don’t have to come in tonight.”
Parent: “Yeah I’m really sick. But don’t worry, I’m still coming tonight.”
Yeah I’m not sure you understand what it is I’m worried about.
It’s not you.
School Lunch
A well balanced meal if I’ve ever seen one! #cheeseoncheese #dairyexplosion
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