(Continuation of Ebola Mom Part 61 and part of the Ebola Mom series)
She found an interpreter!
Category Archives: Kids/Teaching
Ebola Mom, Part 61
Kid (after her brother ran away from her): “He always does that when I try to give him a hug.”
Me: “My brothers used to do that too when I tried to hug them!” (False. Never tried to hug them).
Kid: “You have brothers? How old are they?”
Me: “Well, they’re younger than me, so…”
Kid: “SIXTY-TWO?!”
Ebola Mom, Part 60
(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
She got so close to being normal and then she blew it.
…and “Happy Chanukah?” No? Too much effort? K cool.
I’ll take the “I apologize” Christmas miracle and run with it.
No One’s Noticed
“Wait– you DID? When!?”
— Parent of a student I had last year (whose kid still attends the school), when I ran into her on the street and, after she asked me how I like my class this year, I told her I had left the school.
So you can see I made an impact.
The Help
Me all year: “As a tutor, I am so damn tired of being treated as if I’m a nanny, dog-walker, or housekeeper– aka, ‘The Help.’ I have an advanced degree and academic expertise. I am not the help.”
Me at Christmas: “NO TIP!? But you tipped all the other help!”
When Pronunciation Matters
“It’s pussy! It’s pussy! It’s pussy! IT’S PUSSY! Auntie Em, it’s PUSSY!”
— my 2-year-old nephew.
(It’s Percy)
Ebola Mom, Part 59
(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
Pretty sure she literally has us all programmed in her phone as “The Help.”
“No.”
— Kid, when I enthusiastically asked if she was ready and excited to learn.
Pot. Kettle. Black.
Kid: “You talk funny.”
Me: “I know. I have what’s called a lisp. It makes it hard to say certain words. Like lisp.”
Kid: “No, not that. Well, also that.”
Me: “Cool.”
Kid: “But like…you sound like you have gum in your mouth.”
Me: “Ok, well. I don’t.”
Kid: “And you say ‘four’ weird.”
Me: “Do I?”
Kid: “Yes. My mom thinks it too.”
Me: “Well that’s nice…”
Kid: “She says it’s because you’re from Maryland. And people talk funny there.”
Your mom’s from STATEN ISLAND are you shitting me?
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