Eric challenged me and his friend Ari to a “Workweek Hustle,” so I spent all week strapping my FitBit to the most hyperactive kid in my class.
#strategy
Tag Archives: teacher problems
Ebola Mom, Part 50
(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
I was going to bring a handwritten thank you note next week, but now you can go fuck yourself.
Also, I gave the cookies to a homeless man.
Ebola Mom, Part 49
Test Prep
Smack in the middle of this 4-hour-long 4th grade reading test, someone let out the most obnoxiously loud, exasperated yawn, disrupting the entire room.
It was me.
#thissucks
Exactly.
In reference to my post Hello? , a friend texted me the following:
Well that was 10 minutes of my life
During reading assessments…
Me: “In this passage about a fishing trip, you will see the word ‘minnows.’ Do you know what minnows are?”
Kid: “Of course! I eat them all the time!”
Me: “Ummm…I’m not sure we’re talking about the same thing. I’m talking about bait used to catch bigger fish.”
Kid: “Big fish eat minnows?!?”
Me: “Well, yes…”
Kid: “Just like how I eat minnows?”
Me: “Ok, so, again–I’m not sure we’re talking about the same thing.”
Kid: “Yes we are! Minnows! My mom buys them at the CVS. I like strawberry best. But also the mint ones.”
Me: “Ok so…minnows. Not Mentos.’”
Kid: “Ooooooh! Yeah I don’t know what minnows are.”
This is Worse
The result of our deodorant chat with our 4th graders is that they are now wearing cologne. A LOT of cologne.
Still no deodorant, though.
At Least No One is Wasting Their Time Here
At the conclusion of a whole discussion about preparing their daughter for the state tests in April…
Us: “Our time is just about up, but did you have any questions or comments?”
Parent: “No, everything is good, thank you.” (pauses to collect papers) “Oh! One thing. We are moving to China in 3 weeks.”
Can’t Wait to Catch That
At early dismissal, to a parent who looked like she had the flu:
Me: “You look like you’re really not feeling well. We can absolutely do your conference another time over the phone so that you don’t have to come in tonight.”
Parent: “Yeah I’m really sick. But don’t worry, I’m still coming tonight.”
Yeah I’m not sure you understand what it is I’m worried about.
It’s not you.
Related
Me: “I hope that what you’re drawing on that post-it is related to the math lesson.”
Kid: “It is!”
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