(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
Definitely necessary to clarify.
Tag Archives: teaching
She’s Lucky She Has a Teacher in the Family Who Knows Things
My nephew just started school.
My Job is a Real Job
An acquaintance who lives in my building stops me in the lobby.
Woman: “Oh! Emily! You’re a tutor, right?”
Me: “Yes, I am!”
Woman: “So you walk dogs?”
Now You Know How I Feel
I did a summer writing project with a 4th grader, who had free rein to choose a topic for an editorial, narrative, and informational piece. He chose football for all three. I warned him this was not my area of expertise.
Me (editing his piece): “What do you mean by ‘it makes it harder for the offense to juke?'”
Kid: “Like, for the player to change direction to avoid another player.”
Me: “Ah, got it. And what is ‘an audible?'”
Kid: “Seriously?”
Me: “I only know the adjective ‘audible.'”
Kid (head in hands, frustrated): “Oh, my god, Miss Emily. It’s like I have to explain EVERYTHING.”
And Then Sometimes The Future Looks Promising
Working on a summer newsletter writing project with a middle schooler….
Me: “So what do you think you want to write about for your editorial piece? What’s an issue you are passionate about?”
Student: “I was going to write about about making the food in the school cafeteria better, because it’s pretty gross.”
Me: “Oh, great idea!”
Student: “But then I changed my mind, but I don’t know if you’ll let me write about it.”
Me: “Ok…”
Student: “I really want to write about what happened in Virginia, and how sad it makes me feel, and how I think we should all spread love and not hate. And how I think racism is wrong. And I know this might be weird but can I add an obituary section? I want people to remember the girl who died, Heather. I think she was a good person and people should remember her.”
Me:
I DID Need to Know That
Started with a new client today.
Me: “So, kiddo, anything you think I should know before we begin?”
Kid: “My mom has a boyfriend who she kisses on the mouth.”
Needless to say she’s my new favorite.
“No, but I did poop right before you got here.”
— Kid, when I asked if he did his homework.
Not the Same Thing
Kid goes to the bathroom during our session. He leaves the door open, so I can hear him peeing, and I can also hear him NOT wash his hands.
Kid (running out of the bathroom): “Ok done! Ready!”
Me: “No, no, no sir. Turn right back around and wash those hands.”
Kid: “But I did!”
Me: “I did not hear the sink running.”
Kid: “That’s because I used spit!”
Lady, you found just the tutor!
A potential client called to inquire about writing lessons for her son
Potential Client: “I just want my kid to know how to write. In complete sentences. With punctuation and real words. Everything today is text-speak and emojis, I feel like he isn’t getting reinforcement for actual WRITING, and that’s still a skill that is extremely important, you know what I mean?”
Me: 
I got the job.
Parenting with this guy is going to be fun
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