(Continuation of Ebola Mom Part 34 and part of the Ebola Mom series )
Good. She needs someone to like.
Standard Thoughts While Dating in NYC
Parent of the Year
“This school is so fucking dumb.” –parent, to his child, on the front steps of our school, when the security guard wouldn’t let him in early.
Yes, sir. It’s the school that’s so fucking dumb. You nailed it.
I Have Fans All Over Town
Nothing feels better than running right by your ex boyfriend in the park, giving a hearty hello, and being silently glared at in return.
He must read the blog, guys!
Standard Morning Panic
And just as I pick up the phone to call my dermatologist in a severe state of panic, I realize the new, irregular shaped mole on my thigh is last night’s before-bed Godiva bar.
I don’t exactly feel better about this, though.
Counterpoint
Therapist: “You have to remember that life is a journey.”
Me: “Yeah, well. So was the Titanic.”
I should pay her more. This can’t be fun.
Dad Never Misses an Opportunity to Remind Him
Text conversation between Dad and my brother Jeremy (Jeremy in green).
Ebola Mom, Part 34
Science
That moment when you catch your student sticking her finger so far up her nose, you can do nothing but sit back, watch, and see if it comes out her eye.
A Mental Health Simile For The 21st Century
Being low level depressed is like being an iPhone in airplane mode– technically functioning, but incapable of communicating/connecting with others or doing anything remotely useful or fun, so WHAT THE FUCK’S THE POINT?!
Luckily it’s only a temporary setting.
You’ll be iMessageing again in no time. 
