Steph and Andrew are going apple picking with their friends instead of hanging out with us. We are jealous and decided to poke.
Tag Archives: family
Standard Car Problems
Eric and I let Zack borrow our (Dad’s) car for the weekend. He returned it to the garage last night, which is about 7 blocks from our apartment.
Also please note how he totally threw his girlfriend under the bus.
What a Roller Coaster
Two hours into a 24-hour babysitting stint with my nephew, and I’ve already run through all the emotions.
One minute later:
One hour later:
Family Planning
Therapist: “So, you and Eric are talking about starting a family soon?”
Me: “Well, I mean, yeah. Not right this moment, but soon. We’re married and we both want kids and I’m not getting any younger, so…”
Therapist: “Yes, you’ve said that. But what about right now makes you feel more ready than when we’ve talked about it in the past?”
Me (thinking): “Well….we came up with a hilarious way to announce it on Facebook.”
Therapist: 
Me: “Oh, is that not a sign of readiness?”
Therapist: 
Whatever, lady. Like anyone’s ready for this shit.
She’s Lucky She Has a Teacher in the Family Who Knows Things
My nephew just started school.
How All Important Decisions Are Made
Having one of those mornings where I’m feeling antsy, restless, and a little lost. So like any highly educated, emotionally intelligent individual, I turned to my decision-making paperweight spinner for answers.
Me: “So like, in life in general, Spinning Paperweight….what next?”
Ok, so. Babies.
Now That’s a Good Deal
“If you poop on the potty, I’ll make you a martini.”
— Big Steve, helping to potty train The Boog
The Husbands Had ONE Job
We threw Mom a surprise birthday party here in the Outer Banks. I took care of designing/ordering the t-shirts and wine glasses and creating/hosting a “Who Knows Mom Best” trivia game.
The one job I delegated was to buy a grocery store sheet cake. I told Andrew and Eric before they left– a sheet cake FROM THE GROCERY STORE. You know, the shitty kind with the plastic top over it. It’s old school and totally artificial and mom loves it because it reminds her of childhood.
Also please note how helpful Steph was during this exchange.
This Will Never Change
Lying on the beach…
Mom (accusingly): “Did you put on any sunscreen?!”
Jeremy (deadpan): “I am 32.”
(Long silence)
Mom: “Well. Did you?”
Can’t Argue With Hamilton
Eric is flying into Norfolk, Virginia tomorrow to meet us in the Outer Banks. I was going to pick him up, but the drive is almost 2 hours each way, and he’s insisting uber is fine.
(I still feel bad)
((Not bad enough to pick him up, though.))
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