(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
Nope. That’s not a thing.
Tag Archives: jews
Break-Fast is Our Favorite Holiday
The key to feeling like a good Jew is dating an even worse Jew.
Something is off…
The Bitmoji app really needs an “Ok, close– now make me Jewier” filter as you finish creating your avatar.
The Most Dramatic, Jewish Mother Response EVER.
Zack emailed the family a very simple, benign question related to our upcoming family vacation in the Outer Banks:
Mom’s response:
A simple yes or no would have sufficed. 
Israelis Continue to Be Helpful
Me (at falafel counter, overwhelmed by options): “What’s the best way to order falafel?”
Israeli friend: “Say ‘falafel.'”
Got it.
Rules For Jewish Girl Travel
If you look at the historical site on the computer WHILE in Israel, you totally went to it.
I’m Never Making THAT Mistake Again
When I flew to Israel 2 years ago and went through the VERY intense security check, I was irrationally intimidated by the seriousness with which the Israeli man questioned me. So I did what I always do when I’m uncomfortable– I got sarcastic.
Security: “Are you jewish?”
Me: “Yes.”
Security: “Do you have a hebrew name?”
Me: “Yes.”
Security: “What is your hebrew name?”
Me: “Shoshana.”
Security: “Where did you get this name from?”
Me: “I don’t know…God?”
He did not smile. At all. In fact, there was a 10 second period where I was certain he was not going to let me on the plane.
So tonight when I go through the Israeli security, I will not be making that mistake again.
This time, I’ll give a wink after the sarcastic comment. Maybe even a friendly little “jk” punch to his shoulder.
Because I think the problem is that last time, he just missed the joke.
Which is ok.
Not everyone can be as smart as Americans.
Things We Know!
Lately, during my outdoor runs, I’ve been seeing a lot of these shirts:
And obviously I’m a fan, as I am a supporter of any display of racial pride that doesn’t come from a white person.
But I’m just a little confused– is there an underlying assumption here that society doesn’t already know that black girls run?
You win EVERY MARATHON and EVERY OLYMPIC TRACK EVENT. We know you run. You run very, very fast.
Regardless, this seems to be an extremely popular brand, so if it’s lucrative to create a brand stating things we all know about certain demographics, then consider this shit trademarked:
This Is My New Favorite Thing On Earth
Type in your zip and enjoy the forecast (it gives you the ACTUAL forecast for your area, in language you can totally relate to. If you’re jewish. Or old. Or know anyone who is jewish or old.)
I highly recommend hitting the “random forecast” button afterwards, just to see what else she has to say.
You’re welcome.
(P.S. This was introduced to me by this guy, as he knew from meeting me once that I would love it. This is either amazing or terrible.)
How You Know You’re On The Upper East Side
To be clear, we did not ask for the matzah. To be clearer, every single one of us brushed it aside and ate the bread buried beneath it.
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