Most people just write 2 or 3 words, like “Cocktail Attire” or “Black Tie Optional,” but I thought I’d do us all a favor and leave no room for questions or confusion.
Tag Archives: love
Asking for Two Friends
Is it gross to share a Waterpik? Asking for two friends, one of whom is being super judgy about the other’s oral hygiene habits, meanwhile the other is OH SO SORRY she loves her fiance enough to not mind sharing a Waterpick with him, and DEEPLY apologizes for finding it unnecessary to own TWO Waterpiks because have you seen how small NYC bathrooms are?!
Anyway let them know what you think.
Andrew’s Batting 1000
Romance
After we come in from the cold, Eric sets up the second TV for football viewing while I cuddle under a blanket on the couch, nestling in for an afternoon together.
Eric (looking at me with adoration): “I mean…does it get any better than this?! I got the love of my life right here…”
Me: “Awww.”
Eric: “And I’ve got you.”
Thankful
So yesterday was a good day for him, too.
Proof
The airline announces that they will now board all people with disabilities…
Me: “Does your diabetes count as a disability for travel?”
Eric: “Ummm no.”
Me: “Well, it should.”
Eric: “Does your mental illness count as a disability for travel?”
Me: “No. But you have a meter and insulin to prove your disability. I have nothing to prove mine.”
Eric: “They could spend 15 minutes with you.”
What is Love?
Love is screaming “I WATCH FOOTBALL WITH YOU ALL SEASON!!!!!” while you crank the volume on The Bachelorette 3-hour season finale as he wildly protests.
Eric: “I bought a ring mold.”
Me: “Oooooh! Say more!”
Eric: “Not, not that kind of ring. A ring mold. It’s for food. You use it to–”
Me: “I lost interest.”
Let me put this in terms you can understand
Watching “The Bachelorette”…
Eric: “Wait, so…at the end of this, the bachelorette proposes to the guy?”
Me: “No. The guy proposes.”
Eric: “So she chooses the guy who then has to propose to her?”
Me: “Yeah.”
Eric: <confused>
Me: “Like what I’m doing.”
(pause)
Eric: “Ok yeah I get it now.”
“No. It’s too hot.”
— Eric, when, during a particularly emotional moment in my friend’s wedding ceremony, I went to hold his hand.
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