Nothing was more rewarding, adorable, awkward, or terrifying than 28 fourth graders working together to write this poem about love. For the record, a boy chose the topic “love” and a boy chose the metaphor “butterflies.”
So what happens to the male brain between ages 10 and the age they create their first dating profile that completely erases these sentiments?
I’m just saying.
Notice no one chose the metaphor ” balloon knot.”
Teaching metaphors in poetry.
Us: “So we want to try to compare bigger concepts to everyday objects. For example, ‘life is a staircase’ or ‘anger is fire.'”
Kid: “I have a good one!” (Huge, satisfied smile) “Kindness is like Miss Emily. Because you’re kind.”
No. Stop it.
That moment when your assistant principal bids on your teacher lunch date at the school auction.
Because no one else did.
And he feels bad for you.
To be fair, no parents from our class attended the auction.**
**Because they don’t care.***
***So I guess any way you slice it, it’s insulting.
What’s that? How was auction, you ask? I don’t know, I didn’t go.
Oh.
Just watched this scene unfold.
Barista: “Your name, ma’am?”
Customer: “Robin. Like the bird.”
Barista (smiling): “Got it.”
Cup is served. Spelling: “Robynne.”
Customer (picking up cup, muttering to self): “Fucking idiot.”
So now the question becomes, who is the worse human– the barista or the customer?
At least it’s Monday.
Sometimes you have to sign up for another marathon for the sole reason that you miss eating Chipotle.
Well, you miss eating it on a daily basis.
Well, you miss eating it guilt-free on a daily basis.
Til death do us part, Chipotle.
(No, literally. This race might kill me.)
ANYONE WANNA JOIN?!
That moment when you find a random earring in between the cushions of your couch that definitely doesn’t belong to you, so you can only assume it belongs to some chick your brother banged the last time he crashed at your place.
Ladies– anyone recognize or wanna claim it?
Incredible organization, incredible woman. Saving lives every day. I am so grateful to be involved with this cause and to call Alison a friend. Active Minds helped save me, and I am thrilled to see that the organization is getting the recognition and exposure it deserves for the incredible work they do.
Alison started this organization on her own, working out of her childhood bedroom to honor the life of her brother, Brian. Since then, Active Minds has grown and spread throughout the nation, bringing awareness to the mental health cause and providing resources and help for those who suffer.
And now a PSA airing on CBS!!! One more giant step towards #changingtheconversation about mental health. AWESOME STUFF!
Lately, during my outdoor runs, I’ve been seeing a lot of these shirts:
And obviously I’m a fan, as I am a supporter of any display of racial pride that doesn’t come from a white person.
But I’m just a little confused– is there an underlying assumption here that society doesn’t already know that black girls run?
You win EVERY MARATHON and EVERY OLYMPIC TRACK EVENT. We know you run. You run very, very fast.
Regardless, this seems to be an extremely popular brand, so if it’s lucrative to create a brand stating things we all know about certain demographics, then consider this shit trademarked:
I’ve been feeling kind of off the past few weeks and haven’t really been able to pinpoint why. Then today I was standing behind two women in Starbucks, and one of them was listing all my symptoms.
Woman 1: “I just don’t feel myself at ALL. I’m exhausted all the time, my body is sore, I have a constant headache, I just feel slow and lethargic and all I want to do is sleep.”
And just as I’m about to tap her on the back and say “Hey, ME TOO! What do you think is wrong with us?!”, she turns around, and I see what the problem is.
Woman 2: “Well jesus you’re 8 months pregnant with twins, how do you THINK you’re going to feel?”
So the point here is that I am either 8 months pregnant with twins, or just a single, 33-year-old, definitely-not-pregnant (trust me) woman who’s been waking up every day lately FEELING like she’s 8 months pregnant with twins.
I am legitimately not sure which is worse.
I do know that when I am pregnant one day, I am royally fucked.
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