Hitler was born today.
Category Archives: Mental Health
Same Thing
My therapist keeps reinforcing that it’s important for me to meditate, because it will give my brain a chance to completely turn off and literally be at its absolute stillest.
But like…that’s why I watch the Kardashians.
I’m Going to Die Alone: A Male vs. Female Response
Sometimes I get the old, “I’m going to die all alone” blues. Nothing dire or overly dramatic. Really.
They usually happen on Sunday. So, like….today.
I texted a female friend with this concern, and her response:
Then a male friend:
I’m not gonna lie– the male friend snapped me out of it.
You’ve Got It All Wrong
That moment when you’re getting ready for work and you look out your window and spot a woman who’s just got it all wrong. The outfit, the hair, the bag, the makeup, the expression on her face– everything is a giant hot mess. And you just want to reach out, give her a hug, and say “Come girl, let’s fix you.”
Wait, not a window. A mirror.
Running
Today I wanted to run:
- The Central Park loop
Instead, I ran:
- Away from my problems
- Out of toilet paper
- Into an ex (this one)
- Toward the wine store
- Through a series of anxious thoughts
- Myself ragged
This all probably could have been avoided if I had just run the fucking loop.
Lesson learned.
That’s The Attitude!
Kid (in complete unamused deadpan): “Happy first day of state testing.” (Looks at floor, puts head in hands)
Ah, young squire. I’ve taught you well.
Soon you’ll be saying such things over a plate of nachos salted with your own tears.
Sadness? Yeah I Think I’ve Heard of It.
Tutoring a 5th grader…
Kid: “Do you ever feel sadness?”
Me: “Sure.”
I call it “Winter.”
When it happens in the fall, I call it “Mental Health Disorder.”
When it happens in the summer, I call it “Hangover.”
When it happens in the spring, I call it “For The Love of God, WTF Is Wrong With You?! It’s SPRING– WHY AREN’T YOU HAPPY?! You Are The WORST. And Stop Resenting Those Happy People Over There. It’s Not Their Fault They Know How To Enjoy Things While You Feel Dead Inside. For Christ’s Sake, Come On, The Sun Is Out!” (I’ll admit this one could use a nickname).
We’ll call yours “Puberty.”
Regardless, grab a hat, some chocolate (or, ideally– a chocolate hat) and hold the fuck on.
Don’t Fuck With My Emotions, Dating App
Given their promise…
I think this feedback was appropriate…
This Guy Who Has NO Idea Who He’s Dealing With
After a few minutes of conversation, and from viewing my profile and photos, this guy thought he had me “all figured out.”
Returning to Israel: A Rational Decision
I recently made the decision to go back to Israel this summer, and my dear friend is not in favor of this. He questions why I would ever want to spend an extended amount of time in a place that I know, for a FACT, is dangerous and volatile– a place where my life, mental health, and well being will be under constant threat.
I don’t. That’s why I’m LEAVING New York, dummy.
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