Me (just now): “Did you feel anxious the week of your wedding? Like, obviously very excited, but also super anxious?”
Steph: “No.”
But It’s So Many Steps Down the Aisle…
“Emily, no. NO. Jesus christ, just…no.”
— Friend, when I asked if I can wear my FitBit to my wedding.
The Future is Bright With This One
“I’m just going to step on it lightly. I don’t want to blow out my knee.”
— Eric, re: breaking the glass at our wedding
The Real Reason
Been cross-checking with married friends who know things, as I do not.
Nope.
That moment when you order a garter for your wedding because people told you “You’re a bride, you HAVE to wear a garter!” and then it arrives and you instantly remember who you are as a person and return it.
No Title Necessary
I’ll Take it!
“Here. I’m apposed to give you this. For your wedding.”
— Kid, age 4, wiping his runny nose and yogurt-covered mouth with his fingers, then using said fingers to hand me $100.
You’re Not?
We are in Potomac this weekend and, in an attempt to gain major son-in-law points (leaving Andrew in the dust), and because he’s just a ridiculously thoughtful guy, Eric searched far and wide for the perfect retirement gift for my dad. Unbeknownst to me, he contacted my dad’s wine guy in California, found him the perfect bottle, and had it shipped to the house today. He topped it off with a thoughtful card congratulating him on his retirement, and wishing him luck as he embarks on this new journey in life.
Dad (opens card): “I’m not retiring.”
Oh.
Same Page
In reference to Eric’s 2-year-old niece Mackenzie (“Mac”) and my 2-year-old nephew Tyler (“The Boog”) walking down the aisle….
Old
Eric: “I threw out the turkey because it was getting old.”
Me: “Glad you don’t say that about me.”
(10 second pause)
Eric: “Yeah but I bought you old.”
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