In response to Worse Things, a friend just texted…
My bad.
Tag Archives: mental health
That Moment When You Realize You Could Just Stop Watching CNN
So This Happened
That moment when your therapist can’t fit you in tomorrow because she’s received too many calls for Trump-related emergency appointments.
Not Weird At All
Friend: “So is it weird not having co-workers now that you are out of the classroom and tutoring full time?”
Me: “No, why?”
Friend: “Well, you know…just like…not having people to talk to all day. You don’t feel like you’re going crazy?”
Me: “No, not at all!”
Friend: “Oh ok, well that’s great! I could just see how it might be a little isolating and you might start getting weird.”
Me (laughing): “I know what you mean but honestly that’s not what’s happening at all!”
*Friend = my reflection in the mirror.
But yeah I’m doing great.
Modern Sacrifice
Discussing fasting on Yom Kippur with a Jewish friend…
Seasonal transitions are hard on my body
“No, don’t kiss me there, I have zit cream on….or there, I just put vasaline on…no not there either, I just used icy hot.”
— Me, to Eric
Then I hid the ring so he couldn’t take it back.
Brainstorm
Teaching a writing lesson…
Me: “Ok, so we’re going to start with something called a ‘brainstorm.’ Have you heard that word before?”
Kid: “Yes! A brainstorm is when you have like a storm in your brain. Like when all your thoughts are bad and they just keep crashing around in your brain and it’s hard to stop them, even when you try to think of good things.”
No.
But you are my spirit animal.
Things I Can Do Now
Sometimes I get anxious about my new career path– because change, no matter how good and how healthy, is always difficult for me (and, like, everyone on Earth. I know I’m not unique in this. I do think I am slightly more panicked/anxious/dramatic/unable-to-calm-the-fuck-down-y than the average human during a transition, but I recognize that general feelings of discomfort are pretty universal. So if anyone else is out there going through a time of change, feel free to hit me up for some commiseration. Or just try the exercise below. I found it extremely therapeutic, and I think it would make both my therapist and Oprah proud.)
Here’s a nifty list of things I can do now that I am no longer a classroom teacher, just as a reminder that I made the right choice for myself.
- Pee
- Pee in a bathroom that is a bathroom, not a closet or former jail cell
- Breathe without inhaling germs
- Breathe (in general)
- Go to the doctor
- Not go to the doctor, because I’m not sick anymore
- Have air conditioning when it’s hot
- Have heat when it’s cold
- Overall do my work in temperatures humans were meant to exist in
- Read the news
- Curse
- Curse while reading the news
- Not eat a packed lunch
- Not make a packed lunch
- Not make 5 packed lunches at once on Sunday night because the process of packing a lunch is so depressing, I have to do it all in one shot
- Cry. In the moment I feel like crying, without having to find the nearest janitors closet.
- Raise my voice without fear of abuse charges
- Make an important phone call without fear of being caught
- Answer an important phone call without fear of being caught
- Read/write an important text/email without fear of being caught
- Eat a snack without fear of being caught
- Drink a hot beverage without fear of being caught
- Not fear being caught for doing things all humans need to do to be human
- Wake up no earlier than 7:00am, as God intended
- Teach the way I want to teach, teach everything I planned to teach, and use my actual personality while teaching, because behavior management is no longer the priority
- Be honest, not politically correct, with parents.
- Truly know and care about every single child I work with (some classroom teachers are able to do this– I found it impossible)
- Be appropriately compensated for the work I do and the effort I put forth
- Feel effective
- Feel appreciated
- Pee (it’s worth repeating)
It’s the Little Things
This week I was having major anxiety, but then this happened.
Bitch Knows Me
Therapist (the second she opens her office door): “Unfortunately, I’m out of tissues, so I went and grabbed this. Hopefully it will suffice.” (hands me a roll of toilet paper)
Me (laughing): “I won’t need this! Everything is good!”
Therapist (cheerfully doubtful): “Well, you know. You’re going through a lot of transitions right now so…just in case.”
Me: “I know, but they’re all good transitions! Trust me, I’m doing GREAT!”
I used over half the roll.
A mega roll.
She let me keep the rest for the ride home.
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