There’s nothing like a bridal shower in the dead of winter to remind you that you’re all alone in this world.
Plus, free wine!
Tag Archives: NYC
Oh Good. I’m Back Here.
The NBC evening news just did a segment recommending activities for people who are looking to escape the miserable cold. Their top suggestion? An open-oven pizza place in Hoboken.
Cool idea! Let me drag myself out from under these blankets, pile on 7 layers of clothing (including a separate coat JUST FOR MY HEAD), acquire some frostbite in the city wind tunnels, feel the wind-and-sadness-induced tears turn to ice as I wait for delayed subways, ride 3 different lines of public transportation filled with unbathed homeless men looking to escape mother nature’s most recent bout of PMS, all so that I can go grab a slice of pizza IN NEW JERSEY.
It’s official. I’m not getting off this couch until spring.
Things That, In Hindsight, Were Completely Unnecessary
My screaming “But HOW?!?? Just please, sir, tell me HOW!!!” to the perfectly friendly cab driver who dropped me off at the West Palm Airport and told me to “stay warm in New York!”
Things I Tell Myself So I’ll Actually Board the Plane
It’s important to leave Florida and go back to NYC in the dead of winter because waking up every morning and thinking “Life is good!” is really no way to live. And honestly, my brain just gets tired from being so positive. It was truly exhausting being that happy for 5 days. I don’t know how people down here do it all the time.
Also, my Seasonal Affective Disorder makes me an interesting, dynamic person of substance. Winter misery and despair is part of who I am and I am proud.
*typed from the West Palm Beach Airport while clutching a duty-free wine and sobbing into a bag of Combos.
Boca Raton vs. NYC: A Runner’s Perspective
On my daily morning run here in sunny Boca Raton, Florida, I couldn’t hep but compare the contrasting aspects of my exercise routine down here vs. in NYC. Let’s look at these three categories:
1. Wildlife (aka Running Buddies) 
2. Road blocks: Sometimes on a run, things block your path…..
3. Scenery as you leave your home and begin your run
Always Be Honest With Your Dating App, Part 6
(Part of the Always Be Honest With Your Dating App series)
This Geographically-Challenged Guy
He never responded. I think I was the first to tell him.
That’s How It’s Done
Apparently there was some kind of impromptu issue on my street this morning, so traffic cops came to block off my road. I guess they didn’t have any more traffic cones or manpower, so they did it by lining up 4 city trash cans across my street, spacing them in a way that made it impossible to drive through.
As I exited my building, I watched as a harrowed woman drove right up to the trash cans and, holding a cigarette in one hand, used her free hand to drag two of the huge metal trash cans far enough apart that she could get through. She then put out her cigarette, spit on the ground, got back in her car, and drove right through the blocked off street.
I fucking love this city.
Ebola Mom, Part 11
This Connoisseur
I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do to help you, James.
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