I’m Sorry– Who are you?

Random Thoughts/Happenings, , , , , , ,

Cleaning lady (seeing my wedding dress hanging over the door, just as Eric leaves to go to the gym): “Are you two newlyweds?”
Me: “No, not yet! Engaged. We’re getting married in June.”
Cleaning lady: “Congratulations! It’s good that you live together first.”
Me: “Yeah we’ve been living together since April.”
Cleaning lady: “Of LAST year?”
Me: “April 2016. So for about 7 months.”
Cleaning lady: “And you’re sure that you want to marry him?”
Me (laughing): “Yes!”
Cleaning lady: “You must be very sure.”
Me: “I am sure!”
Cleaning lady: “April is not that long.”

What is happening right now.

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Standard 1st Grade Reading Lesson

Being Awkward/Dumb Stuff I Do, Kids/Teaching, , , , , , ,

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Me: “Do you know the name of the bird in the picture?”
Kid: “No.”
Me: “Ok, let’s try chunking the word to make it easier to sound out. You’ll see that when you break up the word, it isn’t so big and scary. It’s all smaller words you can figure out and then blend together.” (covering up end of word) “Try saying this first part alone.”
Kid (concentrating very hard): “C-O-CK…C-ooooock…C-OCK!! COCK! COCK!!!”
Me: “That’s right! Cock!”

And that’s when her dad walked in.

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My Philosophy, Part 2

Kids/Teaching, , , , , , ,

Quick update on this lady, who, as you will recall, inquired about a reading tutor for her 1-year-old…

We have a phone appointment this afternoon to discuss what it is, exactly, she means by “reading.” If it is a sane notion (aka “I’d like my baby to be read to, and perhaps exposed to the alphabet song”), then I might just consider taking the job. No one needs to tell her that these are tasks she– or an iPhone app– can handle for free.

She also mentioned in our email exchange that she is pregnant, so I expect to be asked about options for in-utero tutoring.

Stay tuned.

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Nothing Good Happens Before Coffee

Being Awkward/Dumb Stuff I Do, Random Thoughts/Happenings

I can yell “I PUT THE FUCKING BEANS IN, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME YOU STUPID PIECE OF CRAP?!” at the coffeemaker all day long, but if I didn’t put water in, and it takes me 30 minutes to figure out that that’s what is causing the “malfunction,” well then I suppose it is not the machine’s fault.

And this is why I need a coffee I.V. next to the bed.

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